forty-five
Linus
Six Months Later
Fireballblewtheroofoff the place.
Less Than Zero is preparing to take the stage in a few minutes.
Connor’s bass echoes through the walls. It’s part of the act, he always plucks a couple of specific notes to prime the pump.
The crowd of nearly sixty thousand people goes ape-shit.
We’re in Seattle at a show benefitting legendary rock club, The Mission. Fireball and Less Than Zero got their start there, so we’re happy to help keep them afloat.
The afterglow of Fireball’s set clings to my skin along with a bit of leftover adrenaline. Outside thedressing room, the hallway buzzes with post-show static. Bodies moving in half-sync. Crew swapping cables. Security checking passes.
Liam and Padraig’s family are gathered in our dressing room. Rory, Liam’s da, sits on a folding chair near the far wall. Maureen, his ma, hovers nearby, hand resting on Rory’s shoulder. She radiates a quiet command most Irish mothers possess, Brothers Cillian and Brennan are deep in conversation about AI and tour logistics, Seamus hangs back near the door, quiet and observant.
The younger McGloughlin brothers have grown into men. Each of them look at Liam and Padraig like they’re gods. Oblivious, Liam, still in the black jeans and T-shirt he wore on stage, stands beside the vanity mirror. Padraig is shirtless and leans against the table beside him, calm in the way he always is after a show.
As usual, they talk in shorthand, an invisible thread running between them. It’s strange. Once, I mistook the thread for a rope. Something unbreakable.
Now I view it as more fragile, strained by this past year of Liam’s martyr-like sacrifice.
Avonna is curled up on the couch across from me, her body still wobbly from everything she gave during the show. Her color’s a little off, too pale under the stage makeup. She hasn’t been feeling well but tries to hide it, smiling when Cillian compliments her voice.
It’s the first time she’s met Liam’s family. My first time meeting his da. Instead of being introduced properly, as his life partner, she’s been relegated to “Fireball’s new singer.” As usual, I’m the “manager.”
Despite her bravado during our recording sessions, she’s hasn’t ended things with Liam or left the band. She’s pushed through the sadness clawing at her, refusing to falter. Even after she told him what Padraig said that day, Liam’s determined to keep things status quo.
Tonight with his family here, however, he keeps himself even more removed from both of us. Other than giving us an occasional smile as his eyes pass over the room.
On the positive side, the show went flawlessly. Studio precision wrapped in live theatrical fire. Avonna brings something special to Fireball. A cohesive energy neither of the twins ever found with their previous singers. Every lyric in the new material carries the tension the three of us all live in.
The story of our love bleeding through sound.
Our girl should be floating. Instead, she looks ready to collapse. I feel the familiar twist more acutely. Want, fear, pride, love, all tied into one impossible knot.
The trouble is, we can’t go on like this.
Liam catches my eye. For a heartbeat, neither of us blinks. Then he looks away, muttering something about tuning issues during the encore to Padraig.
Avonna shifts forward to greet Seamus, who crouches before her. He praises her in a careful tone doctors use when they mean well but sense fragility. Her smile wobbles but holds.
Part of me wonders if Liam’s family’s kindness disarms her. Despite how Liam has portrayed the McGloughlins, the only thing evident here is love and support. Aside from a few dinners at my folks’ place when we still lived in Dublin, she certainly has never experienced this before.
“Hell of a show, son.” Rory’s Irish lilt carries gravel and sincerity. He’s never seen Fireball live, for obvious reasons. “You and your brother made me proud.”
Liam’s reply is half a nod. He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks at the ground. His inability to receive a compliment from his da troubles me more than anything.
Maureen steps in, saving them both. “It was magnificent. You brought the housedown, so you did.”
Avonna peers over at Liam again, searching for a flicker of warmth. He gives her a small grin before turning back to Padraig. The slight is subtle, invisible to anyone else, but it I see the breath leave her. She hides her pain by reaching for a bottle of water.
“LTZ’s gonna have a tough time toppin’ our set tonight.” Padraig claps Liam’s shoulder.
Liam’s grin widens. “They can try. They always do.”
