“Yes. No. Fuck, I don’t know.” I take a deep breath. “I’m second-guessing myself.”
“About Kit?”
“No. Not about Kit. He’s amazing,” I’m quick to reassure. There’s not a doubt in my mind about how I feel about him. “Maybe that’s part of the problem.”
“Huh?” Cam furrows his brow.
“Now you’re back and you’ll be taking over the coffee shop again soon, I need to figure out what’s next for me.”
“And Kit’s getting in the way?” Georgia asks.
“Not exactly, but my feelings are. I love being back and I want to stay in Collier’s Creek. but what if I’m making the decision for all the wrong reasons? What if I’m letting my feelings for Kit override everything else?”
“Making a decision for love is as good a reason as any, if you ask me,” Cam says. Greg nods and smiles softly at him. Those two have seen each other through thick and thin.
“You said you love being back in town and hanging with us, and I know you’ve enjoyed your time at CC’s,” Georgia says. “Plus, I’ve never heard you happier than when you’ve been sharing your plans for the cabins. Oh, except when you’ve been going on and on about Kit.” She laughs, then continues. “So I don’t think it’s just Kit drawing you back here, hon.”
What she says makes sense. Kit being here plays a massive role in my desire to stay in Collier’s Creek, but it’s not the only thing.
“Maybe you need to ask yourself if you’d make Collier’s Creek your home again, even if Kit wasn’t here,” Greg suggests.
“Collier’s Creek will always be my home.” There’s no question about that. “You don’t think I gave up too easily, running home when things got tough, though?” I ask. I’ve been thinking a lot about my old job lately. It feels like I left things unfinished. Getting a degree… for what?
“Maybe all that went down was a positive thing—gave you the shove you needed,” Cam says.
“Let me ask you this?” Georgia says. “If Kit left tomorrow, would you want to rush back to your old life? Find a new apartment in the city? Get a new job and return to the corporate life?”
I picture myself in a tiny one-bedroom apartment, back to commuting to the office, and dealing with office politics. The thought makes me shudder. “That’d be a no.”
“I thought so.”
“The idea of working with Uncle Shawn to build the cabin business is exciting. I hate to think about leaving and not being part of it.”
“It sounds like you have your answer,” Georgia says. “I’ve never seen you happier.”
“It’s just hard not to second-guess myself sometimes.” I take another swig of Coke. “This adulting stuff is the pits.”
Cam laughs and shakes his finger. “Listen to me. You deserve to be happy. Truly happy. Whatever that looks like.”
“He’s right,” Georgia says. “Don’t let fear hold you back from the life you want. Seize the moment, remember?”
I let their words sink in. They’re saying the exact same thing Kit said to me just a week ago.
Chapter Twenty-One
Kit
The lights of the small Christmas tree in the corner cast a warm glow on the walls and give the cabin an even cozier feel than usual. The fire crackles in the hearth as soft Christmas music plays from the Bluetooth speaker on the mantle. For the first time in years, I’ve allowed myself to be surrounded by the spirit of Christmas. The warmth of the fire, the smell of pine, and the festive decorations remind me of happier times, times that feel are within my grasp again. I spent last Christmas with Mom and Dad at a hotel buffet in Seattle. But this year, with Felix and his family, feels like the first proper Christmas in a long time.
It’s thanks to Felix that I have a tree. He dragged me out to cut the small sapling and provided a boxful of decorations, half of which I’m sure he made when he was a kid. I sit on the floor beside the tree and can’t help smiling at the little Christmas tree hanging from one of the branches. The tiny Christmas tree is made from a stick with green ribbons tied at various intervals and a red button glued to the top to look like a miniature tree.
I tear my gaze away from the tree and focus on the box in front of me, carefully folding the wrapping paper around Felix’s gift, ensuring that each corner is neat. I secure the paper in place with tape before moving on to tie a neat bow with a red ribbon. I haven’t put this much effort into wrapping a gift in years, but for Felix, I want to. I hold the finished gift up and admire my handiwork for a moment. It’s only a simple present and I hope he likes it.
My stomach is in knots, nerves refusing to settle—a strange nervous excitement for the day ahead. I want to enjoy the celebration, but I hate the idea it could be the only holiday I share with Felix. I place the gift beneath the tree, then look up at the sound of boots on the porch.Just in time.
Felix bursts into the cabin, letting in a draft of cold air. He quickly shuts the door, shrugs off his coat, and unwinds the scarf from his neck then turns, face lighting when he sees me at the tree. “Hey.”
“Hey, you.” I grin up at him.
