It started with a request to Sean to “list ten of your favourite things,” continued with “list ten random facts I don’t know about you,” followed by Sean’s request to Jason to “list ten things that drive you crazy.” Over the course of the week, they must have exchanged a hundred facts each and had a lot of fun in the process. Jason now knew that Sean loved ice cream, hated spiders and motorbikes, and wanted to visit the pyramids. Sean knew of Jason’s fear of heights but that he still wanted to try skydiving, he’d gotten the scar on his forehead from head butting a pole in high school, and he loved to read.
The third week of February was the week Sean decided the time was finally right, and he was ready to take the next step in his relationship with Jason. But he’d been there before and didn’t want to put too much pressure on himself. He gave himself permission to change his mind and kept things casual. If something happened, it did; if nothing happened, that was okay too. He settled on a movie and pizza at his place. He had a nice house and wanted to invite Jason into his home and share his personal space with him. Opening up his home was definitely a positive step in the right direction.
He spent the day cleaning the house and taking care of laundry, keeping busy to distract himself. He promised he’d put no pressure on himself, so made excuses for why he’d put clean sheets on the bed, and if he took a little longer in the shower, well, that was just because it was relaxing, not because he pampered himself from top to toe.
But by the time 7:00 p.m. rolled around, he was ready.
* * *
“Come on,get comfortable. Take your shoes off, if you want,” Sean suggested as he placed the pizza box on the coffee table in front of them. “I’m just going to grab some glasses and get rid of Pancake.”
Sean plucked the cat from the arm of the sofa where she looked ready to launch herself onto the coffee table and left the room.
Jason deposited the Coke bottle, then toed off his shoes, bending over to pull his socks off and put the shoes and socks to the side of the couch. It had deep, soft cushions covered in some kind of corduroy fabric. Sean had decorated the whole room in shades of blue and brown with hardwood floors and wooden furniture. The bookcases were bulging with books and photos, and the shelf beneath the coffee table had piles of magazines resting on its surface. Sean’s desk was in the corner, stacks of paperwork surrounding his laptop, which was open and displaying the screen saver. Jason liked the way the house looked lived-in. It was clean, and maybe Sean had done some tidying up before his arrival, but he hadn’t tried to put away the clutter. It was the clutter that told Jason the type of man Sean was.
The papers on the desk didn’t surprise him as he did exactly the same—brought home documents and reports to read or finish outside of hours. It was a sign of their work ethic, but also a sign of the tough economic climate. They couldn’t affordnotto put in the longer hours. The magazines, with their worn covers and bent corners, were also typical of Sean, with subjects ranging from business to travel, photography, and hiking. Jason padded over to the bookcase to get a closer look at the spines of the novels. As a reader himself, he had a great interest in books and loved checking out other people’s bookcases. He was pleased to see some excellent mystery thrillers in the collection. He hoped they’d be able to exchange some books. But it was the romance books that grabbed his attention. To be honest, Jason hadn’t known that gay romance existed, so he was intrigued. He looked at the covers and read the blurbs of a couple.Interesting.
Sean came back with the plates and glasses just as Jason returned to the couch. “I see you found my book collection. You’re welcome to borrow some, if you like.”
“Thanks. I must admit the romance titles have piqued my interest.” He grinned at Sean with a wink as they each took a plate and reached for slices of the fragrant pepperoni and mushroom pizza.
“Hey, you’ll be surprised by some of the books you can find. There are some great stories there. I’ve also got a heap on my e-reader.” Sean filled their glasses with Coke.
“No, I mean it, Sean. I really am interested. I love reading and I’m always open to trying something new.”
“Cool. I’ll send you home with some of my favourites.”
The talk turned to comparing notes on a thriller they’d both recently read, and once the pizza was finished, it was time for the movie. Sean had planned a bit of a marathon, starting with the true classic, 1931’sDraculafollowed by a more modern classicRe-animator. Jason fully approved of his choices. Bellies full, they pushed the empty pizza box and plates away to make room for their feet on the coffee table and leaned back into the couch cushions.
The only way to watch a horror movie was to have the lights down low, so Sean had put out the overhead lights and corner lamps, and the only glow came from the desk lamp. As they sat there in the almost dark, Jason studied Sean as Sean watched the movie. The flickering from the television screen played with shadows on his face, highlighting his angular features.
He really is beautiful.
He wanted to reach out and touch him, to pull Sean to him, but a small part of him feared Sean’s reaction, so he kept his hands to himself. Maybe one day they’d be in a position where Sean would snuggle up against his side to watch a movie. But whatever happened, it would be Sean who made the first move.
Sean looked his way, and their gazes locked. As if reading Jason’s mind, Sean pulled his feet off the coffee table and stood, holding his hand out towards Jason. Jason didn’t hesitate to stand and take Sean’s hand, allowing himself to be pulled down the hall, leaving the chilling voice of Bela Lugosi behind.
Sean’s bedroom was like the rest of the house and just like the man himself—warm and inviting. A simple, unadorned bed with plain navy linens, two bedside tables, a dresser, and a large walk-in wardrobe. Jason didn’t pay too much attention to his surroundings, the paintings on the wall, the knickknacks on various surfaces, instead focusing on the beautiful man in front of him. And Seanwasbeautiful with his swath of dark hair, his perfect complexion, and those coffee-coloured eyes. The lamps on either side of the bed cast a mellow light, but there was enough light for Jason to see Sean’s face and read the nervousness in his expression.
He could see the moment when something changed. Sean took a deep breath and reached again for Jason’s hand, pulling him towards the bed, turning him around, and pushing him down. Jason found himself on his back and encouraged by Sean to scoot along until he was resting on the pillows against the headboard. He watched as Sean knelt on the bed and stalked towards him on his hands and knees. Like a switch had been flipped, Sean morphed from being nervous to being the aggressor, moving with determined intent. Jason started to sit up so he could reach for Sean, but with the heel of his hand to Jason’s chest, Sean firmly pressed him back down. As he collapsed onto the pillows, Sean followed him down, lowering his head to devour his mouth. Soft, warm lips slid against his, and he melted into the kiss, parting his lips on a sigh. Sean didn’t hesitate, answering the invitation with his tongue, which delved surely and purposefully into Jason’s mouth, tangling with his own.
Sean broke the kiss. Jason reached for him, eager to pull him closer, to bring their mouths together again. “Come back, don’t stop.” Jason couldn’t help pleading, but he dropped his hands, allowing Sean to determine their next move.
Sean sat back on his knees. “I’m not going anywhere, but before this goes any further, there’s something I need to show you. Something I need to tell you.”
Jason pulled himself higher up on the pillows, leaning against the headboard, and took Sean’s hand in his own. He didn’t say anything, just nodded and gave Sean his full attention.
10
Two YearsAgo
It was February 14,the third Valentine’s Day that he and Gareth would be celebrating since they’d moved in together. And this year it was extra special because Sean had finally received the promotion at work that meant they’d be able to buy an apartment liked they’d talked about for so long. They’d been saving for a year to get enough for the deposit and working hard to meet the application requirements. Sean had planned the stereotypical romantic dinner, right down to the candles and the long-stemmed red roses in a vase on the table and the soft music playing in the background. He imagined the night in his head, picturing how excited Gareth would be when Sean shared the news—finally owning their own home, building their future together.
Sean hummed happily as he moved around the kitchen, stirring the simmering spaghetti sauce and finishing off the garlic bread. He opened the bottle of red wine to give it time to breathe as per the instructions from the guy at the bottle shop and placed it on the round table next to the flowers before lighting the candles and returning to the kitchen to toss the salad.
He’d just poured the salad dressing over the mix of green leaves when the front door flew open and Gareth barrelled through the hall in an excited rush.
“Sean! Sean! I’ve got the best surprise, babe!”
