“Sweetheart,” she said, “I’m heading to the shops this morning and just wanted to see if you needed me to pick anything up.” She stopped suddenly and looked around the room in surprise. “Spence, what’s going on? Why are you packing? Where are you going?” The questions tumbled out.
He looked up at his mum and promptly let out a sob before turning quickly away in embarrassment and reaching for the box of tissues on the bedside table.
“Oh, sweetie.” She sat on the bed next to him and wrapped him in her arms. “Surely it’s not that bad. I’m sure we can fix it, whatever it is.”
“We can’t fix it, Mum. It just can’t be fixed.” He stopped, unsure what to say. He swiped his eyes and scrunched the tissue into a ball in his fist.
They sat in silence for a while, his mum making soothing motions on his upper arm. Eventually, she asked, “It’s Ben, isn’t it? You finally told him?”
He nodded, then shook his head. “Not in so many words but—” His voice trailed off. “Mum, just because I love him doesn’t mean he loves me back.” A sob escaped.
“Are you sure, Spence? I’ve always thought you had a special place in Ben’s heart too, sweetheart. He looks at you the same way you look at him.”
“I thought maybe he did, but it can’t work even if he does feel the same way. I can’t give Ben the type of life he deserves, the home and the family, the normal life.”
“How can you be so sure? And, of course you can have a so-called normal life. What’s normal anyway? And shouldn’t Ben be given a say in his future, in your future together? Have you spoken to him about any of this?”
“I can’t, Mum.” Spence was adamant in his reply. “I just need to get away so I can sort things out in my head. All I know is that I have to give Ben space.”
His mother was sympathetic and didn’t push him further. “As I said to you before, running away isn’t necessarily the answer, Spence, but I can understand why you want to get away. Why don’t you go and stay with Aunt Jenny for a little while? I know she’d love to see you.”
It sounded like the perfect escape to Spence. The B & B she operated was only a few hours away up the North Coast, and he’d promised her he’d provide some labour for some jobs she needed doing around the cottage.
“Thanks, Mum. I’ll give her a call now.” The more he thought about it, the better it sounded. “Maybe I can bring forward the trip I was going to take later in the year if I can get the time off work. It’ll be nice to see Jack too.”
“Hmm, I meant a few days, sweetheart. But so long as you know that you can’t avoid this forever. Sooner or later, you need to sit down and talk with Ben. Your friendship is too important for you to throw it away.” She leaned across and kissed him on the cheek before standing and walking towards the door. “And Spence?”—she looked back at him—“I think you might be surprised at Ben’s reaction.”
With a final smile, she left the room, pulling the door closed behind her. Spence wished he shared her confidence. Maybe he should man up and have a discussion with Ben, admit his true feelings?No, a break is the best thing.
Spence grabbed his phone from the dresser and looked up Jenny’s contact details before hitting the call button. The quicker he got his arse into gear and out of here, the better.
