“You wouldn’t dare,” Eddie said.
“Let go of me right now and we can save you some pride,” Vic said.
“OKAY,” I screamed.“THIS ENDS NOW.BOTH OF YOU STAND THE FUCK DOWN.”
Maybe it was my tone, but the two of them seemed to recoil.
“Seriously?”I asked.
Eddie let go of Vic’s throat, and they both stood there, looking at their feet like scorned children.
“If you guys can’t be adults about this, I don’t know if I can continue this,” I said.
“Well, I’m okay with that,” Vic said.“Eddie’s clearly the violent one.I’m smarter, older, and have access to the Dark Arts.”
“I’m sexier.I can walk in the daytime.And I bet you Vic could never eat ice cream with you.”
“Okay.If either of you thought that was helping, you’re wrong,” I said.“Look.I’m new to this.Brother Al told me vampires share partners.I thought you all were hunky-dory with everything.”
“It’s harder than I thought it would be,” Eddie said.“I feel like.I have to wait all weekend just to see you.And he’s here every day of the week.It just makes me feel like shit.Not being able to reach out when I need you.”
“It’s what you agreed on,” Vic said.
“Yeah, well, just because I agreed then doesn’t mean it’s still suiting me.”
“Okay,” I said.“So.Vic, is anything about the schedule bothering you?”
“Yes.I want to go antiquing on the weekends sometimes.”He said this in a guarded way, pushing his glasses up his nose, with a certain amount of starched collarness to it.
It was so ridiculous I could not help but laugh.
“Is that what this is about?”
“No,” Vic said.“To be honest.I’m resentful that I have to share you at all.”
“My feelings are similar,” Eddie said.
“Well, we all agreed on this going in,” I said.“You can’t just both decide the agreement is off.”
“No, but we can kill each other,” Eddie said.
“My thoughts exactly.”Vic’s voice was a lot more serious than I expected.
“That is NOT FUNNY,” I said.
They both looked away from each other, saw my worried face, and laughed.
“Look, you’re right,” Eddie said.“It was shitty of me to get those hockey tickets for the night I did.I shouldn’t have.”
“You’re right,” Vic said.“You shouldn’t have.”
“And?”I asked.
“And I shouldn’t have barged in,” Vic said.“Although… now that I’m here…”
He looked at me and Eddie, both of us half-dressed.
“I’m not ready for that, and I don’t know that I ever will be,” I said.
