“Just making you feel at home, since we're all homos on this bus.”
That was enough to make him look up.“Really?”
“Hell, yeah.Although unlike you, I have a boyfriend.Also unlike you, I have the smarts not to out myself on national TV two weeks before the Games.”
Blackness rolled back over Tyler.“Doesn't matter now.”
“Yeah, it does.Talk about clouding the waters.Now they'll be torn between whether you quit because you fucked up your back or because you're gay.”
Tyler winced, and Stephen must have heard something because he sighed.“Sorry, joke.Really, I am sorry.I know it was your back, and...shit, even with maybe getting the chance to compete myself, I'm sorry as hell this happened to you.You were our best shot at glory, you know.”
“Then you'd better step up and fix that.Train like hell.”
“Oh, yeah.Coach is going to be a bear the next two weeks.I expect to have my ass reamed on a regular basis, and not in a good way, since the only bear I really want up my ass is my boyfriend.”
Tyler said, “Um,” and then stopped because really, he was not going there.He stared out the window to keep himself from looking at Eli.They never joked about stuff like this, never talked about sex at all.At first, Tyler had been playing straight in front of Eli, and lately… Tyler shifted in his seat.Lately Eli and sex had been all too close together in his mind.It hadn’t been safe to talk about sex with his roommate; too much chance he would say something that couldn’t be taken back.
Stephen laughed.“Poor boy, you have been sheltered.We'll fix that once you stop feeling like you've been hit by a train.”
“Don’t tease him,” Eli said quietly.
“I’m not.He’s still one of the team.Right, Tyler?You still can hang out after practice and I'll introduce you to my boyfriend Max and the guys will...”
“Nope.No.”Tyler shook his head hard.“I'm out, off the team.I won't...I can't...”
“Okay, relax.You need space.I get that.”Stephen twisted for a quick glance at him.“But you're not going to be alone, right?You'll let that guy next to you hang around?”
“He's moving.”It slipped out bleakly before Tyler could think better of it.He held his breath, hoping for Eli to deny it, to say he’d changed his mind, to make this whole day worth something.
“Not right away.”Eli's response came fast.“Not soon.I'll be around.”
“Thanks,” Tyler whispered.
Then Eli added, “What else are roommates for?”
Roommates.Yeah.
Stephen put on the turn signal and pulled into the lot of a chain pharmacy.“Listen, I figure we should stop here?Get some snacks, toothbrushes, maybe some clean underwear for Media-boy?”
“Good thought.”Eli unbuckled his seatbelt.
Tyler didn't move.He didn't care.What was one night in dirty clothes?Even someone else's dirty clothes.He just couldn't drum up the energy to choose between Crest and Colgate, or chips and pretzels.The thought of snacks made his stomach heave.
Eli leaned closer to look at him and then told Stephen, “Wait here, okay.I'll just run in and get stuff.Ten minutes?”
“Take your time.”As Eli got out, Stephen turned off the engine and unclicked his seatbelt so he could lean against the door and peer back at Tyler.Looking away out the window was rude, but meeting Stephen's humorous blue eyes was impossible.Tyler let his eyelids droop shut and just breathed.The SUV's engine ticked as it cooled.
After a few minutes, Stephen said quietly, “Are you going to be okay?”
Tyler shrugged without opening his eyes.
“That had to be so fucking hard.I'm surprised you didn't just hang on with the team, see if you could make it, even just one event.You were the best, man.”
“Not anymore.You saw me this week.I can’t pull my weight consistently and I’d have just let the team down.That would have been worse than anything.”
“Fuck.”After a long pause, Stephen said, “That guy out there, Eli?He wants to be more than just your roommate.”
“No, he doesn't.I'm not his type.Anyway, he's tired of me.”
