"Yeah," he nods, before he grimaces, the movement disturbing his hangover. I gesture to the side table, a fresh bottle of water for him, and he nods, grabbing it and taking slow sips.
Silas peers at me, matching dark brown eyes boring into mine. I give him an easy smile, while inwardly feeling like a caged animal, slamming against my cage.
"I'm sorry, Atlas," he whispers, ashamed. "I'm so fucking sorry, man. I didn't... I shouldn't have..."
"Stop, it's okay," I lie, because it's not, but I can't hear my brother apologize any more for struggling.
I can't be reminded that I just had to wrestle a gun away from my brother's head because he wanted to kill himself.
He nods after a moment's hesitation. "Can you... can you guys bring the girls today? I... need to see them. I need them close."
"Of course, we'll bring them over later."
"Tell Wendy thank you," Silas whispers.
"Thank you, Atlas," he says, and I know he doesn't just mean thank you for watching his kids.
He means thank you for stopping me from...
I nod. "Of course. I love you, Silas."
"I love you too."
???
The roads are completely clear at this time of night, the ride home is quick and silent. I can't even stand to have the radio on.
I pull into the garage, next to Wendy's SUV, and give myself a minute to make sure I've pulled myself together.
The house is completely quiet when I walk in, Wendy left the lamps in the foyer and living room dimmed for me.
I walk upstairs, keeping my footsteps light, and I peek into the rooms.
The girls are in our guest room, sleeping peacefully on the bed. I walk to Liam's room and crack the door open, seeing him sprawled facedown across his bed, like a starfish, Wendy always says. His back rises and falls, and the sight brings me relief, the same relief I get when I walk into Noah's room, my baby boy, Wendy's mini, snoring his little head off.
Finally, I walk into my bedroom and feel myself exhale.
Wendy's form is under the covers, sleeping, and I go to her, powerless not to. I crouch next to her side of the bed, her beautiful face completely relaxed in sleep.
My hand moves without my mind's permission first, and I press my fingers to her neck lightly, feeling her pulse, strong and steady.
Her eyes open slowly, and I move my hand to her cheek, gently brushing a strand of hair from her face. She smiles when she sees me, and the sight makes me want to weep after the night I just had.
"Is Silas okay?" She asks, her voice scratchy.
"Yeah, baby," I force a smile. "Sleeping off his hangover now. He asked to bring the girls back today."
"Hmmkay..." she hums sleepily, pressing a kiss to my hand on her cheek. My heart thumps in my chest. "Come to bed."
Stripping off my clothes, I climb into bed behind her andpress myself right against her back, wrapping both arms around her.
She wiggles back even more, and I squeeze her tight, I know almost too tight but I can't help it. I press a long kiss to the back of her neck, squeezing my eyes shut at the influx of tears that sprout from her scent.
"...I missed you," she says, half-asleep.
"I missed you, too, baby."
I won't survive when you're gone...
