I don’t know if it’s the violence of his words or the truth in them that hurts more. I flinch in my seat, blinking rapidly. I open and close my mouth, but I can’t find any conciliatory truth to offer—so I choose silence.
Nero doesn’t ask anything else. He starts the car and pulls away, accelerating through the empty streets of the island like he never has with me by his side. It’s almost reckless.
I hold my breath and tug my seatbelt tighter.
The drive to my house feels like a silent eternity. When he parks at the curb, I see my mother peeking through the window. She comes out the moment she spots me.
I turn to Nero, my eyes burning, but managing to hold back the tears.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” His furious face turns toward me, but he doesn’t answer. I nod, miserable. “Thank you for coming to get me tonight.”
I open the car door and step out. I close it, and before I can turn and go inside, Nero speaks.
“That week—” His words come through clenched teeth as his nostrils flare. “That damn week—don’t think for a second it was anything less than miserable for me. I hated every second I left you waiting. If you were looking for revenge for it, you should know that—for me—it was punishment.”
“Nero…” I whisper, arms hanging uselessly at my sides, the little control I still had over my tears breaking—but there’s no one to see them fall.
Nero speeds off in the car, disappearing into the dark night of the island, leaving me behind with the sobs that finally find their way out of my heart.
CHAPTER 29
NERO ZANTHOS
Alone. I was getting into this relationship alone. Now so many things make sense. My foot sinks into the accelerator, wanting to get somewhere faster—even though I don’t know where.
I must have been completely blinded by the false sense that Nina would be different from everyone else around me. The certainty that she was someone I could trust with my vulnerabilities turned me into a fool.
She knew who I was. She knew where I came from and what it took to get here. She knew—and still… I shake my head, forcing myself to keep my eyes on the road even though all I want right now is to close them for just a second.
I replay my actions over these weeks we spent together. I can’t find a single moment that could’ve given her even the faint impression that she needed to lie to me, to hide things from me.
I’ve never dealt well with indifference. It triggers something I buried inside myself years ago and never went back for—thefeeling of abandonment. And feeling indifference coming from Nina throws me into a vortex of hurt and rejection I don’t even recognize as my own.
It wouldn’t have taken much. She only needed to be honest, to answer when I asked—because I did ask. Several times. What was she waiting for to tell me she intended to move to another country for almost two years? For me to fall in love with her?
“Too late, damn it!” I shout, slamming my fist against the steering wheel.
Admitting to myself a feeling my body had been screaming all along—betraying me every time my eyes tried to hide it and failed. Only she didn’t see it. And now I understand it’s because she chose not to.
How she managed to look me in the eye and lie like that is beyond me. I take a turn I didn’t see coming without slowing down, the tires screeching violently. I can’t go home like this. I decide to pull over before I cause another disaster—tonight already has enough of them.
I get out of the car, frustrated and consumed by a suffocating sensation. I walk aimlessly through the streets, trying to calm my mind and organize my thoughts. Now that I’m closer to the island’s center, there’s movement, and passersby throw curious looks my way. I don’t care. I just ignore them, internally blaming every person I cross for the situation.
I walk for what feels like an eternity without realizing my internal GPS has taken me to the nearest place of comfort. It’s no surprise it’s neither my parents’ house nor the still-impersonal apartment I bought.
The doorman greets me and receives a scowl and a barely growled good evening in return. I don’t wait for the elevator—exhaustion sounds appealing right now. Maybe then I can just take a shower and sleep.
I head for the stairwell door, to the doorman’s despair—he knows perfectly well that the only apartment I ever visit in that building is on the top floor. He looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind for choosing to climb all twenty floors on my own legs.
I lose count of the steps at 664. After that, it’s all a blur. When I finally reach the corridor outside the stairwell, it’s past three in the morning, and I hope the twins forgot the apartment door unlocked, as they always do, so I won’t have to wake anyone.
By luck or misfortune, they did. I kick off my shoes at the entrance and go up one more level to the bathroom, trying not to make much noise. My reflection shows more than exhaustion—disappointment marks every line of my face.
I turn on the shower, but I don’t stay under the strong, hot spray for more than five minutes. I dry off without much enthusiasm and open the guest bedroom door, still without a lightbulb since the last time I slept here.
The startled scream I hear when I lie down isn’t mine. I spring up like a coil.
“Fuck! What the hell is this?” Drako shines his phone flashlight straight into my face, blinding me.
