I don’t say it as an attack—I’m just… tired. And I really didn’t want to have this conversation right now.
“You think I’m upset because you didn’t show up to dinner?” he asks seriously, and my exhausted brain resents his rhetorical questions. “I didn’t know we were keeping score, Nina. If that’s the case, then please—do whatever you think you need to do all at once so we’re even and can move on, because I really want this to be the last time something like this happens. I really didn’t like it, Nina.”
Despite the seriousness in his tone, his voice also carries care and frustration that instantly make me feel awful.
I drop my head back against the seat and close my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I say, putting more energy into my voice than I feel capable of. “I really am. I’m just tired, Nero.”
He doesn’t answer, letting the silence settle between us. Every second of the emptiness filling the car makes me feel guiltier, because even after all this, Nero is still being careful with me.
“Sorry,” I repeat. His eyes flick from the road to me quickly. “Can you pull over?” I ask, feeling my stomach twist.
“Are you feeling sick?” Nero asks, already steering toward the shoulder.
“No,” I admit. “Nothing a shower and a good night’s sleep won’t fix. But I need to tell you something.”
I unfasten my seatbelt as Nero turns off the engine and turn my body to face him. He mirrors my movement, and we end up facing each other.
“You’re going to tell me where you went today? Or why you’ve been distant these past weeks?” he asks, straight to the point. I bite my lip.
“I told you I was taking care of a few things.”
“Repeatedly.”
“Yes—I just didn’t say to what end.” Nero’s brows knit slightly. “I was approved in a selection process and have been going through the next stages. Exams, training, endless paperwork, and document submission. That’s what I’ve been doing on the days I leave the island.”
“A job?” he asks, confused. “That’s what you’ve been hiding from me? A job?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t understand, Nina,” he says, sounding tired. “At any point did I do something that made you think you living your life—pursuing your dreams—would be an obstacle between us?”
“The job I accepted is in Dubai, Nero.”
His face falls instantly.
The blue eyes I love so much blink, and I can almost see the gears turning behind them. Suddenly, my entire body is on alert. This conversation has fully woken him.
“In Dubai?” he asks, and I nod. “Is it some kind of exchange? How long is it? Three months? A semester?”
The questions come fast, and I blink before answering.
“Eighteen months.”
“Eigh—” He starts to repeat it, then stops. Nero stares ahead at the road for almost a full minute. When his next question comes, he’s looking at me again. “And you didn’t think that was something important to tell me?”
“I didn’t know how,” I confess softly, my eyes burning.
The anger that takes over the man in front of me goes far beyond the worst scenarios my mind managed to imagine. I bite my lip until it hurts, waiting for his response. The disappointment radiating from him feels like a knife sinking into my chest. That was exactly what I was trying to avoid.
Every insecurity and self-accusation comes out to play during the time it takes Nero to answer. I didn’t want to get involved enough with someone for my absence to matter. And yet—here we are.
I saw what was happening. I could have stopped it at any moment, but I was selfish. I wanted what I had so badly that I kept making excuses for myself, lying to myself, telling myself over and over that the plan hadn’t changed—even when my heart held nothing but certainty that I no longer felt the same.
It doesn’t matter that it happened too fast. It happened. And there was nothing I could do about it except get off the fence. I always knew I couldn’t have everything—and still, I enjoyed every second during which I pretended I could.
“I’m going to have to disagree with you, Nina, because from where I stand, you just told me—and guess what? Your tongueis still in the same damn place!” he snaps, slamming his hands against the steering wheel.
