She doesn’t look away from me. For a second, I glimpse the size of the walls I’ll have to tear down to get where I need to be—with my son and his mother.
They don’t scare me.
Whatever it takes, I’ll do it. And after that, I’ll do everything else too.
“Mama?” a small voice called from behind the door.
My eyes widen.
My heart starts racing, and I’m sure Nina will send me away—but Kael’s voice seems to make her forget I exist. She slips the key into the lock and opens the door, and I freeze when the little blond boy is revealed.
He’s small. Of course he is—Kael isn’t even four yet. His eyes are blue like mine. His face is exactly like mine when I was a child—because it’s far too much like my adult face now.
My gaze takes in the blue Superman T-shirt, the black shorts, the colorful socks—and lingers on the red fabric tied around his neck like a cape.
He's a carbon copy of me. Anyone seeing us side by side would know Kael is my son.
My son.
And he looks just like me.
Fuck. Holy shit.
I bite the tip of my tongue until I taste blood, trying to keep the tears at bay. I amdangerouslyclose to crying, and that would be hard to explain to a child.
I watch Nina crouch to speak to him, smile at him, and wrap his small arms around her neck—but I hear nothing. The world goes muffled. Only my vision works, hyper-focused.
I register every detail: the narrow nose, high cheeks, thick brows. Kael’s lips are small and pink, and there’s a tiny scar on his forehead whose story I already want to know.
I want to know everything about him.
My God. How much time did I lose?
The cost of all those years drops onto my shoulders like crushing weight.
“Are you daddy?”
The same small voice breaks through the sound barrier and wraps around my lungs. I can’t breathe. Did he just—
“You look a lot like me. Like me grown up, right, Mom?” he asks, turning to Nina, who keeps her eyes on my unraveling.
I want to tell Kael yes—that I’m his father—but I promised Nina I’d do everything on her timeline. So I don’t answer. I don’t deny it, but I don’t confirm it either.
“Can I give you a hug?” I ask, crouching to get closer to his height.
Kael looked at me for barely a second before flinging his arms around my neck without fear.
That’s all it takes.
His joy pulls the tears free. I use the hug to wipe them away without him noticing, holding him tight against me.
I… I don’t know how to describe it. I only know I would never be whole if I lost him again.
He still smells like a baby.
Fuck—I’m going to cry again.
Kael pulls back, saving me.
