His shoulders drop, and face softens as he gazes into my eyes.“I did.”
My heart sinks, and my hand starts to drop.He catches it in his and lays my hand on his bare chest.His large hand covers mine.I feel the strong, fast thumping of his heart.
“When we started hanging out again on track, it reminded me of your kindness, your caring.Your strength and passion.It felt like we were back to being 18-year-olds again.But I didn’t want to lose you by telling you how I felt and risk you rejecting me and being out of your life.”
“I wouldn’t have cut you out of my life.”
He squeezes my hand.“I would have been too embarrassed and ran.I’ve tried so hard to keep my feelings from you, Rayna.For all these years.But being here with you, I can’t run away and wait for them to subside before seeing you again.It’s been so hard not to reach over and…” He shakes his head and closes his eyes.
“Do what?”
“Do this.”His other hand snakes around my waist and possessively crushes my body into his.His damp board shorts cling and soak my front.My hand securely wedged between our bodies, unable to move from his chest.He brushes stray hair away from my face, then cups my jaw.His rapid breathing matches mine as I anticipate his next move.
As rough and possessive his actions were, his careful and gentle descent to my lips is the complete opposite.His lips brush mine softly.Like I will stop him at any moment.The tentativeness of his lips is frustrating.Where is the passion behind his words?Then it dawns on me.He doesn’t know how much I want this as well.How much I have thought about feeling his skin against mine.His strong hands gripping me, with his hands in my hair.
My hand trails up his bare chest to grip behind his head.Fingers dig into the back of his neck, and my mouth opens to his soft lips on mine.He sighs into my mouth before his tongue plunges into my mouth to meet mine.My tongue pushes back on his as they battle for dominance, and I melt a little into his arm wrapped around my waist as the pace increases.It’s rushed and urgent.He maneuvers me and pushes me up against the door frame, pushing his body against mine, freeing his hands to grip my neck under my ears.Keeping me in an unrelenting place.I can’t escape.I don’t want to.The adrenaline of the moment making everything feel kinetic.A voltage close to shorting out and exploding.Stirring thoughts and feelings I haven’t felt in years.That laid dormant.Pushed to the side until they didn’t arise anymore.The need to be taken care of.
Fuck.Yes.
I do everything for myself.Take care of an entire team.And right now, the need to be pushed up against a wall and taken care of, enjoyed and worshipped overruns my nervous system.
Koby’s hands loosen on my neck, to my shoulders, down to my sides, and the fear of him touching my-not-young-anymore body outweighs my need.
Breaking away from him, I see the panic in his eyes.
“Was that not okay for me to do?”
“No!No, it was great.I just need a moment.This is…a lot to process.”I smile and place my hand on his jaw.
He moves his head so he can kiss my palm.“Can we talk it out then?I don’t want to waste anymore time not being with you.”
My heart skips and I nod.
Koby looks down at his still wet boardshorts.“Let me throw something dry on and meet you over there?”He gestures to the small loveseat that sits unused between the doors of the two rooms on the landing.
“Of course.”
Koby takes my hand and leads me to it.“I’ll be two minutes.”And he runs to his room and closes the door.
I flop down and exhale.Wow!Is all that comes to mind.I shake my head, but before I can dwell and over-analyse, Koby swings open the door again.Straightening up at the sight of him.His charcoal shorts hang off his hips.And his black tee stretches across his chest.His torso stout and solid underneath the black material.
He settles down next to me, the loveseat very tight.His hands reach around to the back of my knees, and he lifts my legs to drape across his thighs.Forcing me to face him.His hands start moving softly across my thighs.The thin fabric bunches as he splays his fingers up and down.“Okay.Let’s talk.”
Fidgeting with my wedding band, his directness hits me.This is it.This is the time.
“I don’t know where to start.”A deep pause.“I haven’t been with anyone in so long.”
“Is that your biggest worry?”
“That’s the biggest I have thought about so far.”Which is true.I haven’t thought about seeing anyone ever.
“Do you want to see someone?”He gently presses.
“I have been thinking about you in that light.If that’s what you are getting at.”I smirk.
“Good to know.Good to know.”
“How about you?”
