“Have I been thinking about myself in that light?”He smirks.
Rolling my eyes.“You know what I mean.”
“Yes.I haven’t been with anyone in a long time too.And I have been thinking about you more over the last few years in that light.But I’m willing to take this as slowly as you want to go.You set the limits, and when it’s too much, we’ll pull back and talk.But we have to communicate, yeah?Tell each other what we need?”
Why, when he says we can take it slow, do I want to not take it slow in any sense of the word?“That’ll work for me,” I end up replying.
“Same.And while I’m staying in your space, let’s have no added pressure and continue to stay in separate rooms.You can have your space when you need and if I piss you off, you can send me to my room.”He winks at me.
I cackle at the thought, finishing with a nod.“Good plan.”
“Now.I seem to have made you soaking wet.”He smirks.
My breath hitches.Is my crotch a wet puddle?
He places a finger on the wet patch on my stomach where his boardshorts transferred the most water to my clothes, and I breathe out.
“How about you change and we go out for dinner as we had planned?”
“Sounds like a great idea.”
Koby shoots up and extends his arms down to help me.Placing my hands into his, he hoists me up with ease into his burly arms again, but he doesn’t instantly let me go.My hands find his biceps as his arms wrap around me.He pushes some stray hairs out of my face and behind my ear.The slightly rough skin on his fingers gently scratches my face.This close, I watch his eyes travel across my face.Taking me in while I watch him.His eyes meet mine, and he smiles.
“I’ve been thinking about this for far too long.”
I smile back, and he brushes his lips against mine.Long and drawn out.Savouring each kiss like it is providing oxygen to us both.
Breathless as we pull away, his grip doesn’t loosen as we rest our foreheads together.
“I’ll meet you back here?”
“Yeah,” I breathe, and he releases me.Like he was waiting for my promise to come back to him before letting go.
Wobbly legs take me to my bedroom door.I steal a glance over my shoulder and see Koby tracking my path.
“Right back here?”I tease, pointing a finger to a spot on the landing.
“Right back here.”He returns and I enter my bedroom.
I head to the bathroom and exhale.Gripping the counter at the sink.Looking up at my reflection, my cheeks and neck flush crimson.That’s new.My unimpressed face turns a nose up at that appearance.
Placing my hands on the redness, my skin is warm to the touch.Yet again, in my current life stage, I’m chalking that up to perimenopause.
I remove my damp tee and splash water on my face and neck.Hoping to subdue the flare-up while I take stock of the current situation.Koby has liked me all this time.
How do I tell people?No, there is no need to broadcast this.This is new.I should tell Louie, though.And Jill.Would Micah want to know?No, no.I am just going to keep this between us.We are on summer break.Away from others.Koby and I can discover what this is separately from others.The thought of spending undivided time with Koby is both thrilling and scary.This is a new time in my life.A new normal as I navigate the changes in my body.My insecurities have never been a factor in my life.But I can’t help but feel self-conscious about my aging body.Yes, yes.I carried a child, and I try to look after myself, but I am aging, and this is new territory.Dating in my 40s?Terrifying.
Hearing Koby’s door open, I look down at my torso, missing one top.I reapply deodorant and perfume and shimmy off my pants and head into my walk-in wardrobe.Settling on a blue floral Diane Von Furstenberg jumpsuit and a pair of sensible brown sandals.My hair gets a large clip to contain any humidity frizz, and my lips, some lip balm before I exit my door.
Koby is sitting on the loveseat watching my door.He smiles widely at me as he gets up.
“You look amazing.”
He must have headed back into his room to change.I take in what he is wearing.Smart, black chinos and a white short-sleeve button up that I can’t help but wonder how rewarding it would be to pop open each button and push over his broad shoulders and watch fall behind him.“Don’t you scrub up well?”
“Yes, ma’am.”He smirks as he pretends to tip an imaginary hat to my giggle.“No time like the present, raven.”He motions towards the stairs, and I head down.
He picks up keys and his wallet but insists we leave our phones and I take nothing with me.So now I feel even more exposed.
