I should know. I can’t think of wanking Jackson off in the middle of the sea without prickling from top to toe. A vivid flashback of him sucking on my nipples like gobstoppers pops into my head.
‘Don’t be so stupid.’ Garry snaps at me, waving a dismissive hand my way.
We all hang on his words. Maybe raki doesn’t make you blind. It does sound over-the-top now I come to think about it.
‘Yousaila boat. You don’tdriveit!’ Garry roars with laughter. ‘As for everything else you just said. Abso-fucking-lutely!’ He hands out shot glasses, sloshing raki liberally into them. ‘A toast. Here’s to fair winds and following seas.’
‘Here’s to sailing too close to the wind,’ Shaun says, laughing and winking at him. ‘If you know what I mean.’
‘You mean three sheets to the wind,’ adds Tiffany, chuckling as she holds out her glass for a refill.
‘Here’s to allhandson deck,’ says Astrid, eyeing Shaun like a prime cut of succulent fillet steak.
‘I’ll drink to that,’ Shaun says, clinking glasses with her. She’s made it sound filthy, and the friendliness between her and Tiffany suddenly withers as they exchange a frosty look.
Oh. My. Word. A whole week of this?
The captain, a frown appearing on his forehead, is not quite following the subtext. He clears his throat and begins his briefing. ‘Welcome on board theLove Ahoy!We set sail tomorrow at noon for Marmaris. We have thirty-six guests in total. It is a wedding anniversary celebration, so the range of guests is from eighty to five years old.’
The reps let out a collective groan. Tiffany is the first to complain. ‘Do not lumber me with the childcare. I can’t stand children.’
‘I can’t do it. I’m a man,’ announces Shaun who, in case it wasn’t obvious, lowers his voice an octave and begins rocking on the balls of his feet, legs apart, hands in shorts pockets, chest barrelled, just to make sure we are all on the same page as to his gender.
‘Well, don’t think I’ll be any better. Something about my face makes kids cry,’ states Astrid matter-of-factly. ‘Maddie will have to do it.’
‘For one thing, childcare doesn’t just have to be carried out by women,’ I say, looking pointedly at Shaun. ‘For another, I’m a numbers girl,’ I protest. I have no experience of children whatsoever never mind wealthy Turkish ones. I can’t imagine they will like doing maths puzzles or playing chess.
‘Okaaaa-yuh. We get it. You came to work in head office. Jesus. How many times?’ Tiffany has her hands on her hips. ‘You’re not the only rep here with a bloody degree you know. Mine is in Advanced Chemistry but you don’t hear me complaining, do you?’
Everyone appears shocked by this announcement. Especially Shaun. ‘Is it, babe?’
Tiffany nods and quite rightly turns back to face me.
‘And yes, before you ask, it was a first. A genuine first. Not analmostfirst like yours.’
Well, that’s put me firmly in my place.
‘Maddie, the job’s all yours. That’s the childcare sorted,’ says Garry with a snigger. ‘Cleaning rota?’
‘Not lates,’ Tiffany and Astrid say in unison, looking straight at me.
‘Okay, Maddie, you’re on lates.’ Garry scribbles my name down on his roster. ‘Cabins turnaround, towels and minibar?’
‘I’ll partner Shaun. Because I have a bad back and will need help lifting things.’ Astrid beams.
‘No, you won’t. I will partner him.’ Tiffany glares at her.
Garry clears his throat. ‘Maddie partners Shaun. Tiff, you’re with me. Astrid, you can be on restocking the minibars.’
It is beginning to feel as though Astrid and Tiffany are going to disagree about everything while I may be constantly caught in the middle, picking up their discarded jobs. Garry looks at Shaun with a pained expression. ‘Mate. Come on. You gotta sort your women out.’
Shaun sags back into his seat, his arms hanging loose at his sides, his head thrown back as he emits a frustrated groan.
‘Who wants first shift on water sports?’
‘Not me,’ says Astrid quickly.
‘Nor me,’ chimes Tiffany.
