I shake my head. ‘No. Absolutely not. But for reference, shouldn’t it be sultan’s revenge?’
Blank stares.
‘Because we’re in Turkey? Persia?’Doesn’t anyone know their ancient history?
Shaun looks at the captain, wincing. ‘I hope I’m not sharing with?—’
‘You two men, cabin four,’ yells the captain before pointing at me. ‘You three womens, cabin sixteen.’
‘Any chance I can have a single cabin?’ Shaun looks pleadingly at the captain, but he is having none of it.
I slip off my shoes, bending to pick them up.
‘Leave big cases. We will bring.’ The captain points to a scraggly man hovering to the side of the dock.
‘Thank you.’ I grab my hand luggage and make my way up the swaying gang plank onto the boat. The sun is beginning to set, and we are losing daylight quickly, but the grandeur of the sailing vessel is not lost on me. I peer up at the masts with their sails tied to them like giant sun parasols waiting to be untethered. The back of the boat is wide and has white and blue striped thick double sun lounger mattresses lining both sides of the gleaming white plastic deck area.
I walk carefully down the centre towards the steps that I saw Garry Gee disappear down. They lead to a covered dining area with polished wooden floors, wooden tables and chairs and banquette seating made from elaborately patterned fabric in swirling greens and blues. Even the ceiling is made of shiny wooden beams dotted with lights. A glossy bar and high stools form a semi-circle centrepiece. The bar is stocked with hundreds of glass bottles of alcohol of all shapes and sizes. Glasses hang upside down from racks above it. Everything is sparkling clean as the evening sun streams through the portholes to bounce attractively off every surface.
I let out a slow breath. Wow. This place is stunning. It’s how I’d imagine a five-star hotel to look. Not a thing out of place. Beyond the bar I catch a glimpse of an outside dining area, the tall-backed wooden chairs each fitted with a cushioned sleeve in royal blue arranged neatly around oval-shaped tables. It is all very glamorous. Finally, as I crane my neck, the pointed bow of the boat looks to have a padded seating area in the same smart blue and white stripes. To my left is a spiral wooden staircase. Jackson wasn’t kidding when he took us through the fire safety procedure. Literally everything is made of wood.
‘Welcome on board,’ beams the captain. ‘Your new home for the week. Please do not put paper down the toilets or you will cause big problems.’
13
As if moving into a very cramped triple cabin with Astrid and Tiffany wasn’t bad enough, what follows certainly is. We’re unpacking our clothes in uncomfortable silence when Garry Gee loudly announces on the squeaky public speaker system that the captain wants to see us in twenty minutes, which scares the shit out of all three of us, especially Astrid who was mid-lipliner.
‘Report to top deck bar area for team debriefing… Having said that,briefscompletely optional, ladies.’ Followed by a filthy cackle. ‘Psyche!’
‘Uh, gross,’ I say. ‘Is he always this sexist and smarmy?’
Astrid stops mid-make-up and Tiffany puts down the pillow she is fluffing. ‘What do you mean?’ asks Astrid. ‘It’s only banter.’
‘Yeah,’ agrees Tiffany. ‘Leave him alone. He’s bad enough as it is without you always having a go at him.’
I have literally met him once.
‘Yeah,’ says Astrid. ‘You’ve been horrible to him since the day you arrived.’
Yesterday. I arrived yesterday.
‘Which, by the way, was a shitshow if ever I saw one.’ She laughs.
‘Erika said she’d never seen anyone make a worse first impression,’ Tiffany says, joining in. ‘No wonder she didn’t want you on her team. Or that Jackson didn’t want you anywhere near head office.’
What is happening here?These two bitter enemies appear to be ganging up on me. And, apparently, people have been talking about me behind my back. Which is rude.
I change into denim shorts, a white T-shirt and flip-flops and tie my hair into a top knot. We make our way through the kitchen, which is also on the lowest deck, past a sweating chef who is barbequing strips of spiced chicken, throwing them with a slap onto a hotplate and sending blooms of delicious aromas into the air with a hiss. The mouth-watering smells follow us up the staff spiral staircase, straight to the dining room. From there we go outside to the bar and outdoor dining area, to climb yet more stairs up onto the roof deck. Garry Gee and Shaun are standing at the bar drinking pints of Efes lager with the captain. My eye is drawn to three empty shot glasses beside them and a bottle of raki that looks half empty.
The same stuff that leads to poor decision-making, blindness and party vibes rather than a ‘team debriefing’. A wave of nausea washes over me at the thought of how many drinks I’ve had since I arrived, and how little sleep (an accidental scrappy two hours on the dolmus). I don’t know how the reps do it. I feel like I’ve aged ten years since I got here. I can barely focus. Never mind if I was in charge of navigating choppy waters, and responsible for all the lives on board a huge vessel like this.
‘Should you be drinking and driving?’ I ask the captain without thinking. He turns to me, an affronted expression on his face. There’s an awkward silence before he assures me in a snippy manner it is technically his night off, seeing as we don’t set sail until tomorrow. He informs me that we will be rising early, inspecting all of the rooms, polishing all of the plates and cutlery, sweeping the boat, checking all of the water sports equipment… in time to welcome all the guests on board, just before serving them their lunch, and then starting the whole cleaning process over again.
Well, that’s me told.
‘Are you always this much of a party pooper?’ Garry Gee snorts. ‘This week is going to be so boring if you keep putting a dampener on everything. You’re the human equivalent of double maths.’
I’m immediately incensed. Double maths was my favourite lesson. Also, he’s giving me Dillon vibes. ‘Sorry,’ I say to the captain. ‘I didn’t mean anything by it. I just thought… Well, I’ve heard raki makes you do reckless things and too much of it can make you blind.’
