There's a balance, a point where I'm in charge then Beep takes over. I let go in a way that scares the shit out of me, but I trust her with my life. That thought boosts her confidence, and suddenly I release, my human flesh giving way to auburn fur. It sprouts along my arms, and it's the last thing my human vision catches before my body reshapes. Once the process starts, it's impossible to stop, an urge that must be met.
I stare up at the room from this lower position, my eyes now wide, vision polarized. I haven't met a ton of wolves, but I know my Beep is small.
She chuffs at my observation, then shakes out her fur, coming to a stand, the new perspective of the world disorienting.
Beep trots around the room. She looks up at the door, which I left shut. She nudges her snout against the handle, but I locked it.
In a rare moment of vulnerability, Beep tells me,One of these days, we're both going to need me to be faster and stronger. You can't hide me away forever.
I'm not hiding you, Beep.I may tease her that she fumbles like a toddler, but the truth is, although she has gotten us out of trouble in the past, we're still slow. And I don't want to face Orion and have him and Grayson learn yet another bad thingabout us. That we're not fast enough or strong enough.It's safe in here,I add.
The safest place for me to practice my speed and strength is out there. With our mates.
I try to argue, but she cuts me off.Our mates will protect us while we practice. You will tell them tomorrow, so we can improve.
I don't bother responding, or reminding her that one of them is currently off with Doc trying to prove we're a plant sent by the witches.
Maybe she's right, though. If I don't stay in Silent Peak—the thought of leaving makes my heart wrench violently in my chest, but I have to face reality, that none of this is permanent—ifwe leave, other alphas could still hunt us. Rogues. Witches, too, since apparently they're a threat. I could ask Orion, at least, how wolves practice getting stronger and shifting faster.
Tomorrow's problem. For now, I let her take us around the small room. She sniffs everything, practicing picking up traces beneath every surface she can reach.
She trots to the end of the hall, and I have a strange urge to help her open the mystery door so she can strut around and scent-mark that weird room with the gigantic bed and all those pillows. Eventually, she wanders back to the bedroom.
We make it a few hours before she loses control, but it's better than nothing. Beep seems satisfied, and that's enough for now.
I read for a while, and hours later, when Grayson's scent—that infuriatingly comforting mix of cinnamon and campfire—grows strong outside my door, followed by a now familiar pounding, his fist closed and urgent, I curl myself onto the bed, under the covers, and ignore him. I'm not in the mood for his worthless apologies, no matter what he begs and pleads through the heavy wood.
Let him feel a fraction of what I felt, what I feel, every time someone I think I can trust hollows me out.
Chapter 23: Orion
"Thought maybe we could spend the day together," I'd said this morning once she finally emerged from her room. Grayson had already left for the day. He was working with the enforcers, making them recite shifter law while running drills near West Creek, deep in the forest. Normally, that's something I'd be involved with as Alpha's second-in-command, but I needed to spend the day with my mate.
I kept my voice light, studied the floor so I didn't look too eager.
She paused, swallowed, then nodded once and kept eating her breakfast.
Since we got to the enforcer's gym, she's watched me with guarded eyes. But I've caught the way her scent changes when I shamelessly stretch in front of her, the slight hitch in her breath when I stand too close. She likes to watch my arms flex, and she bites that fat bottom lip when my shorts hang too low, showing off the deep V of my lower abdomen. I'm not above showing off if it keeps her around.
She's much less combative with me—the sharp edges of her personality seem to soften.
There are other things I'm learning, too. She mutters to herself a lot. Or, to her wolf, I guess. And she's an odd combination of shy and confrontational. She asks a million questions, each one laced with wonder and suspicion. I watch the way she tucks her hair behind her ear when she's thinking, how her plump lips open in surprise when she catches me staring.
Grayson has a way with words that makes him sound like an asshole even when he's trying to help. Our mate is already an omega with an abnormal upbringing. Her unusual relationship with her wolf—Beep, she calls her—was just another red flag, and it triggered Gray's paranoia.
I'd thought for sure I'd lost Mona's trust after Grayson accused her of being sent by the witches yesterday. He didn't actually believe she was guilty—he suspected the witches were using her as a pawn to infiltrate our clan. That was bad enough.
And so, for the second day in a row, she wouldn't leave her room, even after Grayson came home to apologize. Doc hadn't even finished analyzing Mona's blood samples before Gray rushed home to tell her he'd fucked up. I was proud of her for not forgiving him right away.
I spent last night staring at the ceiling, listening for any sound of movement around the cabin. I couldn't sleep without knowing if she was okay, what she was thinking. If she was going to try and sneak out, head to the Bahamas like she'd threatened at the hospital.
Her tears fucking gutted me, and there was nothing I could do or say to make it better. All I could hope was that she'd give me another chance.
Even if she is currently pretending not to be affected by me. I can see right through her though, and it's mighty fucking satisfying to watch her walls crumble.
Thirty minutes in, and it's clear the gym isn't Mona's natural habitat. Weight racks and ropes line the walls. In the center of the space, there are training mats where shifters spar, practicing kickboxing and jiu-jitsu. Off-duty enforcers congregate at the gym, so it's as busy today as any other day.
They keep their distance, but most everyone in the room is staring, which isn't helping her confidence. Unfortunately, my alpha finds her stubborn determination to stick this out amusing, so even though she's miserable, I'm having the time of my fucking life.
