I just wish it had happened to me instead.
Not that it matters. I have him now. All it took was Teagan choosing her friends over him, over and over again, to drive him straight into my waiting arms.
“Do you want red or white?” Josh asks, bringing me back to the present as he holds up two bottles.
“Isn’t it a little early for wine?”
Josh sighs with annoyance, and I know I’ve screwed up. “But, it’s your engagement celebration, you pick,” I say with a playful smirk, hoping to ease the tension I caused. I know he didn’t propose.
“Last night didn’t exactly go as planned. I didn’t propose to her,” he tells me. His face flushes quickly before his features return to their normal stoic state. “But I don’t want to talk about that. I want to enjoy the next hour of free time with you.”
He sighs and looks down at each bottle before putting the white back in the fridge. The sleeves on his shirt are rolled up to his forearms, and I watch the muscles bulge and flex as he twists the wine opener into the cork.
The cork comes loose with a muted pop, and he pours us each a generous glass of Merlot. Josh hands me my glass, and that electric current pulses through my body the moment our fingers graze.
I should tell him I don’t want the wine because I’m supposed to meet the girls in an hour and a half. But I don’t say anything because I’d rather drink him up in every way I can now that he’s here with me. Plus, nothing quite cures a hangover like drinking again.
He taps his glass to mine. “Cheers to…” His eyebrows furrow for just a moment as a flash of hurt skates across his handsome features.
“No cheers, just drink,” I tell him softly as I lift my glass to my lips and sip. The bold flavors of the wine erupt in my mouth, making me moan in response. “Then maybe you can fill me in on what happened last night?
He shakes his head. “I said I don’t want to talk about it. I just needed a place to go and unwind in private.” His eyes flash to mine as he sips his wine. “Teagan is driving me nuts with all this anniversary vacation shit. I finally got her to agree to the cruise I’m so lovingly paying for. I told her I got called into the office just to get some space away from her. I’m not ready to go back to Teagan’s—” He pauses when he says her name for the second time. His eyes flick to mine with a silent apology.
The one rule is that he is not allowed to speak her name while we’re together.
I purse my lips and put my glass back on the countertop harder than I meant to. Red liquid sloshes over the sides and onto the marble.
When I look back up, Josh is staring at my lips. His eyes graze down my neck and stop at the cleavage peeking out of my silk robe. His hand reaches out, grasps my belt, and tugs me closer to him before he takes a large drink of his wine.
And just like that, I know how we’ll spend the rest of the morning. The girls won’t mind that I’m a little late.
My lips meet his in a frantic frenzy as his mouth savagely claims mine.
“Don’t tell her,” I moan. I remind him of this every time we meet in secret. “She can never know about us.”
Josh’s lips leave mine as he grabs me from under my thighs and pulls me to him. “Never. She’ll never know.”
I sigh with contentment before tugging my robe off and surrendering entirely to him.
Our affair is my most coveted secret—a secret I think I might just kill to keep.
Chapter six
Ilook at my phone for the billionth time in the last twenty-four hours. I’m jittery and wired after my cup of espresso. Every particle in my body is screaming at me to text the girls the big news, but as Lee keeps reminding me, this type of news is much better delivered in person. His patient wisdom is the only thing that stops me every time my hand itches to text the group chat. I guess that’s a perk when you marry a man a few years older than yourself.
I still can’t believe this is real life.My life. It’s more than I could have ever hoped for. Never once did I think I’d be this happy, especially when I was eighteen and going through the worst era of my young life.
Back then, I’d have laughed in your face if you told me I’d be living this dream that I’d have this wonderfully beautiful life. Thirty years old, and loving every year even more than the last. I am advancing in my chosen career in medical administration while training to become a registered nurse, all because the man I fell in love with inspired me to push myself as far as I could. I am now married to that same wise man who is the epic love of my life, while cherishing the most incredible friendships a girl could ask for.
It’s not something I ever thought possible. And it’s a life I’ll do anything to keep—even if that means lying to my husband and friends for the rest of it.
I should tell Lee the truth about my past. He would understand my choices and wouldn’t judge me for them. But I’m scared that if he finds out, it’ll change the course of our future together.
If he knew I had a daughter out there when, for the entirety of our relationship, I’ve been adamant about never wanting to have children, what would he think? How would our relationship change? Would he ever forgive me?
It’s not something I can risk. Ever. My life is perfect the way it is, and I believe with my whole heart that I made the right choice for that child. I wasn’t ready to be a mom. My daughter deserved better than the broken shell of a person I was left with after conceiving her.
I knew giving her up would be the best way to keep her safe from the man who shares the other half of her DNA.
