He raises his eyebrow at me, a smirk playing on his lips. “You mean, you need me to stay so you can have an excuse to stay partnered up with Mr. Spencey.”
I flush red. “I didn’t say that…but yes?”
Kevin laughs as he wraps me into a playful hug. He still smells like that expensive cologne and I allow myself to breathe it in deep, knowing this is both our goodbye as a couple, and our hello as friends. “Honestly, I was sort of hoping you’d say that,” he admits. “Because I’m enjoying the hell out of pissing your brother off.” We both laugh loudly, pulling out of each other's arms.
“And I can’t wait to watch his face crumble when you beat him this year.” He winks. “Plus I may or may not have had a hand in tipping the scales in your favor today…that is until the dynamic duo showed up with the freaking Titanic.”
“Oh my gosh! Kevin! Tell me that you did not ruin your Eiffel Tower on purpose?”
His only response is him gesturing to his lips, and zipping them closed, and tossing the invisible key behind his back.
Chapter Twenty
Spencer
Iwashappilysurprisedwhen Phoebe asked if she could come over again tonight. I’m less happy that we’re sitting in strained silence on the ride there though. I have a bad feeling in my gut over whatever is on her mind, and part of it is due to my own stupid snooping.
I couldn’t help but notice when Phoebe and Kevin both disappeared from the table after we all got done eating the amazing meal that Mrs. Andrews cooked for us. They didn’t stay long enough to hear what the next task is, the ugly sweater contest. I know how much she’s always loved this task, and with her by my side we’re a shoe in for the win. I couldn’t wait to find Phoebe and tell her so we could get started on our plans as soon as possible.
That is, until I saw her and Kevin all cozied up and laughing together on the front steps of the house. It’s not my place to act all ‘macho man’ and try to stake a claim on Phoebe, but I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t sitting here sweating bullets while wondering what they talked about. Phoebe and I haven’t exactly talked about the status of whatever this is between us. Seeing her and Kevin being all cute and chummy together makes me want to ask her, and put some type of label on us.
Are we just friends?
Are we friends with benefits until she goes back to New York?
Are we taking the plunge and seeing if this can turn into something real?
The latter is what I’d be happiest with, Phoebe however, may feel differently. It’s very possible that I’m just a body to keep her warm and occupied until she and Kevin work their relationship out. And that stings more than I’d like to admit. I also feel like a jackass for feeling that way, because I know we can’t take this any further until I admit to her why I kissed Piper all those years ago…and I can’t do that.
In other words, I’m knee deep in shit and what if’s.
It isn’t long before I’m pulling into the driveway, still wondering what’s going on with Phoebe. It isn’t the longest drive from her parents house to mine, but it feels like it’s been hours of tense silence stretched between us. I don’t like it, but I’m not sure how to approach it.
Once I’ve parked and turned the truck off, neither of us moves to get out, I peer over at Phoebe, and notice her gnawing on her bottom lip and tugging at her fingers, the way she’s always done when she’s nervous.
I reach over and place my hand over hers. “Talk to me, Pheebs,” I tell her. “I can tell something is eating at you, and whatever it is you can tell me. We can work through it together.”
She moves her hand and intertwines her fingers with my own. “Umm, I need to ask you something, and I feel really stupid for bringing it up. So please bear with me.” Her voice is low and I can see her chest rising and falling in rapid rhythm. She’s nervous. “It’s going to sound dumb, especially this many years later.” I instantly freeze. I know exactly what she’s about to ask and I have no idea how the hell I’m going to be able to answer it.
I know this is the end of us.
She squeezes my hand tighter. “I have to know why you asked me to be your date to the Winter Formal, just to kiss Piper hours later.” Her grip on my hand is unyielding. I don’t think either of us are breathing. “I know it seems silly. Believe me, Spencer. I feel like the biggest idiot bringing this up now, especially after how wonderful the last couple of days have been with you. But, if we decide that this is something real, something with a future…I really need to know why.”
Her beautiful green eyes are pleading with me, her expression nervous, but hopeful. Completely unaware that I’m about to ruin it all.
I wrap my other hand around hers, cradling it between my two palms. I bring her hand to my lips and place what I know is going to be my last kiss onto her skin. “Phoebe, I have loved every moment I’ve spent with you over these last few days. This time together was a gift that I never expected to ever have, and I hope you know how much I care about you. About us.” She smiles fondly at me, and it breaks my heart. “I feel like I’ve waited my whole life for you to come back, to give me a second chance. Every time I passed a girl with red hair like yours in the streets, I would instantly do a double take. Hoping, praying, begging that it was you. When I saw you in the airport, you took my breath away. You’re even more beautiful than you were as a kid, and getting to know you all over again over these last couple of days has been one of the biggest pleasures of my life.” I pause to clear my throat, and she runs her fingers back and forth over my palm. “I need you to know that it’s always been you. I need you to believe that, Phoebe.” Her hand stills, and her body tenses. “And I’m sorry. But, I can’t tell you why I kissed Piper. It’s just not my place.”
For one idiotic moment I hope that she’ll believe everything I’ve just told her, and that possibly she’ll be okay with leaving the past in the past.
But that hope withers away like a dandelion in the wind that moment she yanks her hand from mine.
“Take me home Spencer,” she says cooly. It’s almost as if her heart has turned to stone, and instead of turning into a crying mess, she’s just turned off any feelings she has for me completely.
“Please, try to understand. If I could tell you, I would in a heartbeat. I swear I would…but it’s not my secret to tell. What I can tell you is that my heart belongs to you, it’s always been yours, Phoebe,” I plead with her.
She refuses to look my way again, refuses to listen. And I can’t even blame her. I knew this would be the spark that lit the flame, and that this omission would only bring total and utter destruction to us.
“Take. Me. Home.”
