I shouldn’t be secretly happy that Little E intervened, but I can’t help it. I’m competitive to my core, and I know without a doubt that the Eiffel Tower would have won. Phil had always had a knack for making the best looking gingerbread houses, and with Kevin’s need for perfectionism, I know theirs would have taken the prize. I peek over at the dining room table where Spencer left our library and breathe a sigh of relief when I see ours is still intact.
Then I look over and see Piper’s and Austin’s and my heart sinks.
They made the damn Titanic…and it’s freaking perfect.
I may be an adult, but there’s nothing wrong with a good ol’ pout session on the porch steps every once in a while. I can’t help it, I’m being a broody brat over the fact that we didn’t win. But it’s hard to argue with the judges when the Titanic was so much better than ours. That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it though.
Our gingerbread library kicked ass. Plus, I got to see a different side of Spencer while we brought it to life. He was patient, kind, and incredibly playful. He thinks I didn’t notice how he purposely kept finding reasons to touch my hands, or when he kept sneaking the candy off the bookshelves I was making and eating them. I noticed every time his eyes lingered on me, on my body.
It made me feel empowered and sexy like I never have before. Just being around him makes me feel alive again. Not just this shell of a person trying to force myself to love a job I actually hate, or to find beauty in a city that I despise living in. I don’t want this feeling to ever go away…and I find myself reluctant to be apart from him tonight. There’s no real reason for me to go back with him and stay the night again, but I wish that there was.
The front door opens behind me, and I turn expecting it to be Spencer since he seems to know when these types of moods strike me. But I’m surprised to find that it’s Kevin. I guess now is as good a time as any to have that much needed talk to him too.
Piper, Spencer, Kevin.
I have too many important conversations to have this Christmas, and I hate it. I’ve never been good with words. I’m much better at ignoring the issue until it comes full circle and blows up in my face, which isn’t the most mature or healthy lifestyle to live.
“Hey, Pheebs. Can we talk?” Kevin asks from behind me.
I pat the spot next to me, inviting him to sit. He wipes the small amount of snow and mud that cakes the steps before he sits down. Typical. He’s never liked messy things. Maybe that’s why he dumped me last year, because I’m too messy of a person.
Too emotional. Too pensive. Too stuck in my own thoughts, afraid to voice them.
“So, Spencer, huh?” He says nonchalantly.
I whip my head towards him, my eyes wide with surprise. I didn’t think we were that obvious, but if Kevin of all people has picked up on whatever this is, then I can guarantee our families have too. So now, if this ends badly, it’ll affect everything. And that was the last thing I wanted.
I choose to play dumb instead. “What do you mean?” I make sure my face matches my confused tone.
By the knowing stare Kevin's shooting my way, I know he’s not buying this for a minute.
“Are we that obvious?” I ask him, embarrassment flooding my body. I don’t want to talk about this with Kevin. It’s awkward. It’s weird. It’s uncomfortable. But maybe this is my chance to set the record straight between us for good.
He chuckles dryly. “You aren’t obvious at all. In fact, I would have thought you hated the guy with how much youdon’tacknowledge him. Spencer though, that guy can’t keep his eyes off of you.” He flashes me a small smile. “I wasn’t sure until I watched him pass you the potatoes.”
“The potatoes?” Now I’m actually confused.
“You didn’t pull away when he caressed your hand. I don’t think anyone noticed though. Just me,” he says sadly.
This is what I didn’t want. I may not want to be with Kevin, but I never wanted to hurt him.
“I’m sorry, Kev. I really am. This—this wasn’t in the plans,” I say, frustration clear in my tone. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I didn’t even want to come home, let alone run into him again. And you showing up was most definitely not on my bingo card this year.” He nods in understanding as I continue. “I think I’ve been in love with Spencer Larson since I was old enough to be interested in the opposite sex,” I confess.
“We just…messed up somewhere along the way. I’m still not sure what’s going on between us, but I didn’t mean for you to watch whatever it is happen right in front of you. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again after we broke up.”
I take a deep breath, before continuing. “I’m not upset that you’re here though. It was a surprise, yes,” I say, and we both chuckle at that. “But I’ve missed you…as a friend. I don’t want to hurt you, but I have to be honest. I have loved watching you, Phil and Pipes somewhat get along, and my parents obviously don’t hate you anymore. Our relationship ended a year ago, and I’m not looking to rekindle it. What we had was fun, but it was also difficult. We have such different ideas in mind for our futures, and there isn’t anything wrong with that,” I sigh, peeking over at him. I’m glad when I see that smile still tugged on his lips. “We make much better friends than we ever did lovers.”
He blows out a long breath. “You’re right. You’re always right,” he says. “I didn’t come here to make drama, I need you to know that. There was a small part of me that hoped we’d see each other again and those sparks would fly between us again. I’m not upset that it didn’t happen though. I mostly came here because I wanted to apologize for how I ended things. You didn’t deserve to be dumped that way. I can give you a million and one excuses, but seeing you so happy and vibrant and just…alive around your family. It broke something in me because I knew that wasn’t a life I’d ever be able to give you,” he confesses.
I know all of this already because he told me earlier, but hearing it again after everything that’s happened with Spencer…it’s the closure I needed.
“I just want you to be happy, Pheebs. I’ve always wanted that. If this Spencer dude makes you happy, then you need to figure out what’s next between you. Don’t let the fear of the past ruin what could possibly be that future you’ve always dreamed of.” He knocks his shoulder softly into mine. “You know, the one with the happily ever after and the handful kids and what not.”
Now I’m full blown crying. Happy tears though. Kevin might be a dick sometimes, but he sure knows how to flip to being the sweetest and most understanding guy I’ve ever met. “Thank you, Kev. I really needed to hear that,” I sniffle, and he rolls his eyes at me like he’s always done when I cry over silly things.
He gets to his feet, and holds his hand out to help me up. “I guess I should take my heartbroken ass back to New York, huh?”
“No!” I startle us both with my loud objection. “I mean, you can’t leave now. I need you to stay until the contest is over!”
