Noah's expression is guarded now, his hazel eyes searching my face like he's looking for something. When he doesn’t find it, his jaw tightens.
"I've already committed to stay with you for the school year," he says slowly. "I would never go back on my word."
His word. His promise. The promise he made to a cold, unfeeling woman.
"I appreciate it," I hear myself say. My hands are shaking, so I clasp them together on the table.
Noah scoffs and runs a hand through his hair. My eyes stray to his biceps and a fresh shoot of pain runs through my chest. He's so handsome. How could I have ever thought he could be seriously interested in me?
"Rika, I'm not interested in leaving." Noah's eyes narrow. "I have a life here."
"Do you?" I can't stop myself now. The words are spilling out, cold and logical, like I'm presenting a business case instead of dismantling my own heart. "You're working part-time for my mother and part-time for me. That's not sustainable long-term, and you know it."
Noah steps closer, and I feel the air shift between us. His voice drops, quieter but more intense.
"Are you trying to talk me into leaving?"
My throat closes up. The question is quiet. Dangerous.
I don't answer.
"I'm trying to be realistic," I manage.
"Bullshit." Noah's voice is sharp now, frustrated. "You're trying to push me away."
The accusation lands like a slap. My heart slams against my ribs so hard it hurts.
"I don't want to leave, Rika." His hazel eyes lock on mine, and the intensity in them makes my breath catch. "So the only question is, do you want me to stay, or are you glad you have an excuse to push me away? Because I can't keep doing this for long," Noah continues, his voice rough. "Hiding and sneaking around. Only allowed in pieces of your life. I need a real, open, committed relationship."
The walls close in, and I take a step back, my head spinning with feelings I don't understand.
"I told you I don't want to disrupt the kids' lives again. I need more time to be sure."
"I'msure, Rika." His voice cracks slightly as he looks at me with an intense, almost pleading gaze. "I want you. I want the kids. It's not even a question for me."
The words land like a knife between my ribs.
I stare at him, and my throat is so tight I can barely breathe. I want to answer. I want to tell him he's wrong, that this isn't about fear, that I'm just being practical.
But I can't. Because he's right.
Noah presses on, his voice raw and vulnerable in a way that makes my chest ache.
"Do you feel anything deeper for me? Anything beyond the sex?" He swallows hard. "Because I'm in love with you, Rika. I've fallen completely. And I can't keep pretending this is anything else."
The world stops.
I'm in love with you.
The words hang in the air between us, beautiful and terrifying, and for one terrible, perfect moment, I want to say it back.
I want to tell him I love him too. That I'm terrified because I've never felt this way about anyone, not even Mitchell. That when I'm with him, I feel like I'm finally allowed to breathe.
But I can't.
The words won't come.
Instead, I hear myself quietly say, "I'm sorry."
