“Well then, let’s just take it slow and see how it goes.”
He kissed me again, pulling me down onto him. “I saidslow, Rob.”
He leaned forward and put his head between his knees, slapping his hands on the mattress. Then he looked up. “Help me, Jesus.”
“You get dressed and then I’ll let you make me a little ice cream.” I paused. “Maybe over one of Mrs. Taylor’s brownies you brought? She did sort of get us together after all...”
“Annabelle, wait—”
“I already said, no, Rob.”
“No...” He looked nervous. “It’s just that I have a secret that I feel like I have to tell you before you can truly make this decision. I want you to have all the information...”
I could feel my heart drop through the floor into the furnished basement. “I can’t handle any more secrets, Rob.”
“Yeah, this one’s a doozy.” I saw the flash in his eyes. “Mrs. Taylor,” he whispered, “is my grandmother.”
I burst out laughing. “No, she’s not. You’re so not funny.”
He nodded gravely. “She is.”
“She isnot. You call her Mrs. Taylor, for heaven’s sake.”
“It’s because she makes me call her that.” He burst out laughing, and I joined him.
Perfect families,I thought again.
While I was waiting for Rob to dress, eating ice cream straight from the carton, I knew that I couldn’t wait to tell Lovey that—though it wouldn’t be for some time—someone in her family was finally marrying an Episcopal priest.
Lovey
Safe and Happy
There comes a moment in every marriage when you, as a spouse, are standing at the edge of the steepest precipice one could possibly imagine. It is that moment when you realize that the man or woman you married is perhaps a vestige of the person you thought, but, in reality, bears very little resemblance to the forever you had seen in your mind’s eye. The way he mouth breathes on your back in the morning when you are trying to catch the last moments of sleep before one of the babies you have created together issues the morning rooster crow. He refuses to cover his mouth when he coughs and only lifts a finger to assist the children when you are in public and people will see and rave about what a terrific father he is. And then, sometimes, a secret is revealed. Something even more shocking than the fact that this perfect specimen you studied under what you thought was a very fine microscope for years before walking down the aisle, is, in fact,human, comes to the surface in the broad daylight—or maybe in the dead of night.
And you are faced with a choice. He has crossed that giant chasm without you and is standing on the other side. So there you are, waiting, choosing, deciding. Do you cross over and hold the hand that, while not as perfect as you had once imagined, is the one you promised to hold until your last breath? Or do you stay on your side, closed off, unrealistic and utterly unwilling to imagine that perhaps this marriage, this man, this choice is as good as it’s going to get?
Some women would have stayed on their side. They would have swept and scrubbed and made it up tidy, steeled their jaw and faced the world alone. But me? I crossed over. Maybe it was the way I was raised by parents who valued hard work and sticking to your vows above all else. Maybe it was that, in reality, I had no good options. I was a mother of five darling girls, but, as beautifully as our package was wrapped, there was no doubt that Dan was the bow atop. And finding another was a risk I wasn’t willing to take.
Sometimes, I wonder if maybe choosing the path I did was weakness. But, I’d like to say now, when I know it is almost over, when the man I risked everything for, the man I leapt across that great expanse for, is gone from me, that it was strength.
“Oh, Luella, I don’t care for any more tea,” I say, after the funeral is over, after the guests have left, after I have slept alone in my room for the first time in sixty-three years, as I am sitting in the living room that has held so many of the most treasured memories of my life.
“Sal, I’m proud of you,” Lauren is saying, meaning that my most headstrong girl and my most passive one have mended fences.
Sally smiles sheepishly. “I guess I have you to thank for my current happiness, so thank you.”
Lauren tips a fake hat. “And, for the record, I heard there was some speculation over whether I would actually date Kyle. And, just so we’re clear, I feel as though I shouldn’t have to say this, but, no, I would not date anyone that any of you are or have ever been in love with. So let’s just get that straight.”
“Sort of ironic,” Jean says.
“What?” Martha asks.
“That Lauren would be the one to go to all that trouble to make sure that Sally ended up with the love of her life.”
Sally leans over and rests her head on Lauren’s shoulder. “Thanks, sis. You really took one for the team.”
Lauren puts her arm around Sally and squeezes. “Anytime.” She looks up and says, “I would do the same for any of you.”
