I looked back and forth between the two of them, so confused that I momentarily forgot my sorrow. If I hadn’t known better, I would have guessed they were having some sort of lovers’ quarrel.
“I did try to tell you, Annabelle. I saw them at your house that day when I told you to go home.” He let his arms fall to his sides. “I couldn’t tell you, but I wanted you to know, and that was the only thing I could think of.”
I could see the sharp points of her body language relax into curves. “Oh.” She paused as though she was thinking. “That is when I found out.”
I looked back and forth between them again, and, though I wanted to ask more questions, when you’re eighty-eight, it doesn’t take too many letters to solve the puzzle. I hadn’t liked that Laura Anne since the moment I laid eyes on her at that party. And I would have bet my last bottle of scotch that she was after my granddaughter’s husband like a police dog on a drug trail.
When I saw both Annabelle’s and Rob’s faces shift slightly from angry to relaxed, it was then that I realized that God really does answer all of our prayers, even if He’s saying, “Not right now.”
Though I had longed, on my knees, for one of my daughters to marry an Episcopal priest, it had never happened. But, I had the sneaking suspicion that God was going to give me another chance with my granddaughter.
Annabelle
Perfect Families
Life is all about being steadfast enough to make a plan and being flexible enough to break it. And that is good because Annabelle the planner had figured out perfectly how she was going to tell her parents and grandparents about the dissolution of her marriage. And Annabelle the planner knew that the blow would be softened a few weeks later by the reunion with Holden, aka, the man of their dreams. It would be horrible and everyone would be talking about it, but they would reason that I was young and scared and now I was just doing what I should have all along. And then one of the women in the neighborhood would be having an affair with her gardenerDesperate Housewives–style, and everyone would forget about me.
What Annabelle the planner hadn’t counted on was D-daddy dying in his sleep. And I hadn’t planned on Rob’s absurd confession of love. And I hadn’t planned on dropping the Ben-affair bomb on Lovey via a fight with Rob in her assisted living apartment. And,most of all, though I had forgiven her outwardly, I hadn’t planned on still being so inwardly angry with Lovey. I couldn’t stand feeling that way toward her when my entire life she had been my main confidant. But wounds take time to heal.
And that wound that I was so sure had already scabbed over, the devastation of finding out that my marriage wasn’t what I thought it was, had opened again and was oozing all over the place. The hardest part was realizing that I was the only person surprised by the dissolution of what I thought would be my forever.
When Mom had asked where Ben was right after we found out about D-daddy, I had mumbled something about him having to work.
She had put her arm around me and said, “So it’s over, huh?”
I had been so positive that he was the right decision, that we were going to be a family, that our personalities complemented each other so wonderfully. And all my dad could say was, “Oh, honey. We never, ever trusted him.”
The thought of moving on after realizing that I had been so wrong paralyzed me with fear. I thought I knew best. I thought I was mature and reasoned when it came to love. But I had been neither.
Sitting in the third row of Saint Andrew’s Church that afternoon, I knew I needed a higher power to help me sort through the avalanche of my life. My handkerchief to my eyes, I waited patiently, thankful that Mom and Lovey had let me forgo the procession, knowing a divorce, a miscarriage and a death in such short order weren’t going to equip me for walking stoically behind a casket. I tried to push away the thought that every person in that jam-packed church was whispering about where my husband was.
Well, at least the ones who weren’t whispering about Lovey’s best friend Katie Jo parading in with her young boyfriend.
Cameron, with absolutely no announcement, as usual, slid into the pew beside me and linked her arm through mine. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
I could feel the tears spilling over as I nodded. “Thanks.”
“I’m most sorry that I ever introduced you to Ben. I was wrong.”
I shook my head. “You weren’t wrong. If I hadn’t tried to steal him from you, all of this would have been happening to you.”
I winked, and we both stifled a laugh.
Holden, making like he was genuflecting by my pew, whispered, “I’m so sorry, Ann.” He squeezed my hand.
I wiped my eyes, shook my head and said, smiling through my tears, “Thanks, Holden.”
He looked at me sadly, still holding my hand. “You coming home tonight?”
I nodded, swallowing hard, wondering if a life with Holden could ever feel like home.
Sitting there in the pew, I longed for a man like D-daddy. A man who was kind and generous, humble and forgiving, faithful and true. A man who knew his values and stuck by them. A man who would give me room to grow to be who I was while trusting me with the truth even when it was hard. That familiar aggravation in the pit of my stomach pinched me again, as I wondered how Lovey could do something so terrible to someone so undeniably good.
Then the lonely echo of the organ turned to triumphant jubilation. I tried to feel happy that D-daddy was in a better place, free from pain and sorrow and suffering. But it’s so very difficult to feel happy when you are so sad that you won’t be seeing him on earth ever again. My uncles and cousins were carrying the box containing what was once my D-daddy down the aisle with Lovey and my mom and aunts following close behind.
I don’t know if it was the swell of the organ or the freshness of the suits or the surge of pride at seeing so many people I loved all clumped together like that. But the aggravation and irritation and annoyance were suddenly replaced by the most ecstatic happiness. As I watched little Lovey make her way with so much grace, I realized that there were no perfect people, not even her. But there are perfect families. And in our crazy, mixed-up way, we just might be one of them.
I glanced toward the altar to see Rob’s gaze on me—he had agreed to Lovey’s proposal that he assist with the service—but he quickly looked away when my eye caught his. Even in this sad circumstance, his eyes meeting mine made my stomach flip, those bubbles of anticipation filling me up. But that summertime feeling was quickly replaced with dread. Because I had done the butterflies thing. And it had gotten me to this, one of the saddest days of my entire life. No white knight, no happily ever after. Ben, Lovey. The people I had thought infallible had failed me.
