You said I could trust you.
You said I could trust your family.
You said you wouldn’t let anyone take me away.
You said you could handle whatever I had to tell you.
You said you’d take care of everything.
You said you’d take care of me.
Everything happened, just as you said.
You didn’t let me down.
You didn’t warn me about the feeling, though.
You didn’t warn me about how much it would cripple me.
You didn’t warn me about how much it would deepen the ache.
You didn’t warn me about how much it would burn in my throat.
You didn’t warn me about how much it would weaken me.
You didn’t warn me that it would make my stomach hurt.
You didn’t warn me about the hug.
There was no way you would have known
I’d wanted one so badly.
I want it all the time.
I need it.
I want to be close to you.
I crave it.
Every time I see you, I itch to touch you.
I want to make sure I can still have it.
I smiledas I thought about the handful of times since Saturday that Hollis had touched me. He was so warm. Each time he touched me, even if just for a few seconds, it was enough to settle me for hours. I found myself purposely sitting beside him when we were downstairs watching TV. The warmth that radiated off his body gave me the fix that I needed.
I was staring at the page when there was a knock on my door. I quickly sat up and glanced at the door. Charles stood there with a plate and two cans of ginger ale.
“Am I interrupting?” he asked and gestured with his head toward my notebook.
“Hi. No, not at all,” I said and quickly closed the notebook. I pushed myself up as Charles came into the room. He sat on the floor opposite of me and leaned against the side of my bed. He handed me one of the cans and set a plate of vanilla wafers down between us.
“How is your stomach doing?” he asked.
I gave it a moment so I could think and decide if it was bothering me. Of course, it was.
“Um, it’s not too bad right now.”
