My stomach was a mess as I walked to meet Mr. Carroll. While I hadn’t been too hungry at lunch, I was kind of regretting not eating much, especially since I had to stay late. The pain in my abdomen was familiar and felt like a cross between being hungry, nervous, and just being punched. This pain felt like it was higher up in my stomach and was very different from the lower abdominal pain I had felt this morning. Often, I had both the upper and lower abdominal pain at the same time, but thankfully the pill that Dad gave me was keeping most of the lower pain away.
“Ready?” Mr. Carroll asked me as soon as I stepped into his office.
“Yeah,” I replied.
We walked in silence to the locker room, and I followed Mr. Carroll into the coaches’ office. The coaches were talking and drawing up plays on the whiteboard. They stopped talking and looked at us when Mr. Carroll knocked on their open door.
“Coach, this is Patrick. He’s here to serve his detention.”
“Patrick, come in,” the coach said.
“Patrick, you’ll check out with the coach this evening after the game. Okay?”
I nodded and stepped into the office.
“Let’s get you put to work. What size t-shirt do you wear?” the coach asked me.
“Large,” I answered.
One of the other coaches opened a cabinet that had a bunch of folded t-shirts. He pulled one out and checked the tag before handing it to me.
“There. That’s a start. We want you to look the part. Go put that on and you can bring your backpack and store it in the office.”
I went to the bathroom to change shirts behind a closed door, even though I didn’t see or hear any players or students around. I probably would have been fine to change by my locker for gym class for once, but I didn’t risk it. Even for gym class I took my clothes to change in the bathroom behind a door. I got teased about it, but I didn’t give a fuck. Too much to risk otherwise. I pulled my t-shirt off and unfolded the new shirt. It was a heather gray color and had Wildcat Football printed in the royal blue school colors. Our mascot was beneath Wildcat Football with a football next to it. I smirked at it and pulled it on. Before I went back to the office, I stopped to look at the shirt in the mirror.
Look at you… Almost like you’re important or part of something.
I almost looked myself in the eyes in the mirror. Almost. I rarely ever looked at my eyes in the mirror because I hated who I was. Whoever the fuck that was anyhow.
But… maybe I could be important. Maybe if I fucking tried. It would take a lot of work and effort, but maybe I could be on the junior varsity team next year. Or help the team. Something.
I walked back to the office with a whole new outlook just from putting on the shirt. I was energized about the possibility of being part of a team. Even to help… in a non-detention sort of way. To be part of something would be really cool.
After setting my backpack in the office where the coach pointed to, I unzipped it to shove my zip-up hoodie and t-shirt inside.
“Keep your jacket handy for when we go outside later. We’re supposed to get rain sometime during the game.”
I nodded.
“Do your folks know you’re staying until after the game?”
I nodded again.
“That’s a long day.”
“It’s okay,” I replied.
After waking up the way I did, then getting the belt and having to take one of those pills all before school, it really fucked my day up. I was perfectly happy not going home until after the football game.
The coach took me to the part of the locker room where the football team meets. It was a huge room just like the ones you’d see on TV. Each player had an individual area where all their gear was stored. The coach pointed to a cart with towels heaped onto it and then a table with boxes of granola bars.
“Fold the towels longways, then in half, then drape one over each chair. Put two granola bars at each station, then fold the extra towels and leave them on the cart.”
I nodded.
“After that, put a pair of socks from that cart at each station.” The coach went to one of the player stations and pointed to the wooden top that sectioned off a small area. “The players’ cleats go in here, so set the socks on top of it.”
“Okay, got it.”
