The courtyard was now completely covered in shadows from the darkening sky. As the thunder rolled overhead, I carried my backpack toward the building and under the covered section. I leaned against the wall and ate the apple I had in my backpack. As I chewed, I watched the crowd of kids hang on every word Hollis said when he spoke.
He had a hot chick with her arm wrapped around his broad shoulders, and she probably laughed at everything he said. I didn’t know her name, but I knew she was a senior. He must have an older girlfriend. I’d heard his name mentioned over the announcements at least weekly. He was everywhere. He was built for success from head to toe. Aside from having the grades, athletic talent, and popularity, helookedlike he had everything. He might have been a little taller than me, and his body looked like a built-up college kid. His hair was perfect. His clothes clung to him perfectly. He was just perfect.
I wondered what it would be like to be in his shoes for a day.
Was he really an asshole and full of arrogance?
He didn’t look arrogant, but then again, that didn’t mean anything. I wondered what his parents did for a living. All kids at this school had someone in their family who was influential or a celebrity. I wondered what his deal was.
The more I thought about it, I didn’t think he was an asshole. I was very familiar with assholes because I lived with them. Hollis Hawkins wasn’t one of them. I based that solely on the fact that he knew nothing about me and had stepped out of his perfect world to stop the Metallica kids from antagonizing me. That said something about him, and probably even more about his family.
I tossed my apple core in the trash and headed toward my locker when I glanced over my shoulder at him. I should have hated him for nothing more than because he was everything I wasn’t. But still… he was the only person to ever stand up for me.
Sixteen years old/ 10th Grade / November
Ignoring the pain with each step I took, I wiped a mixture of sweat and tears from my face as I barreled down the hall toward Dad’s home office. I didn’t give a fuck if the door was closed. I pushed the door open and stared at the surprised look on my father’s face as he held the phone to his ear.
Dad and I had an arrangement. A twisted one at that. But basically, in exchange for my silence, he’d give me one of the painkillers to make things bearable and take the pain away. They were the good pills too. The kind you could only get at the pharmacy with a prescription. That was what I needed now.
“Let me call you back, Elijah,” he said and then set the phone on the cradle.It’s weird how he talks to Sebastian’s friend all the time.He glared at me as he stood and rounded his desk. “You’re lucky I wasn’t talking to a client,” he warned.
“I don’t give a fuck.” I tried hard not to let my voice break in front of him. I didn’t want him to see that they had gotten to me. But they had.
“What’s gotten into you?” Dad asked, as if he had no fucking idea.
“What’s gotten into me? Fucking everything! You let Sebastian fuck with me before school!”
“Is that why your lips are puffy?” His tone mocked me and made me even more irate.
“It’s not funny!” I yelled as he laughed. “Why do you let him do this crap before school? I can’t concentrate!”
“Patrick, you’re being a bit dramatic.”
“This doesn’t happen to other kids!”
“Sure it does. In my professional opinion, let me tell you that it does, Patrick. So think of it this way—you’re not the only one.”
What? I doubted Hollis fucking Hawkins dealt with an older brother fucking him and being punched in the kidneys before school.
“I’m sick of it.”
“I don’t care. Don’t rock the boat.”
“What if I go to the counselor at school and tell them?”
“It’ll be a lot of wasted effort. Let me tell you why. They’ll investigate, and they’ll discover you’re not all there and that it’s nothing more than brothers fighting. Plus, I’ll tell them that you’d stolen the painkillers that are prescribed to Raquel. If it sounds logical and looks logical, they’ll nod and consider that they’ve done their due diligence. That’s how these things work. No one wants to pull back someone’s bedding only to discover the sheets are filthy. Catch my drift?” He walked closer to me as he pulled his belt from the belt loops. “So, unless you want to be so messed up that you can’t escape to school for several hours, I suggest you knock it the fuck off.” He grabbed my bicep and shoved me toward his desk. “Hands on the desk. And if you move, I’ll make sure that you won’t be able to go to school today.” He grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it up over my head, exposing my back.
Tears rolled off my face and onto his desk as his belt cut into my flesh. I grunted each time he hit my lower back. Finally, he stopped swinging the belt and pressed his thumbs against the tender area on my back.
“This a little sore here?” he asked as he pushed his balled-up fist against the area.
It hurt so badly that it forced my knees to buckle and I fell to the floor. I pressed my forehead against the desk while my hands gripped the edge, and I shook in pain. I didn’t even care that he could hear me cry. I tried to take shallow breaths to fill my lungs because the deep breaths were something I couldn’t manage right now. Once he sat down behind his desk, I sat back on my heels and stared at him while I tried to catch my breath.
“God, your mother was right; you are a pussy.”
“You’re wrong… And I hate you.”
Dad sighed and opened the top drawer of the desk. He pulled out an orange bottle of pills and twisted off the white cap. He tapped his finger on the bottle, and one of the white pills rolled onto the desk. He flicked it toward me and then returned the bottle to the drawer.
