You’re needed.
You’re part of a team.
You have a purpose.
I’m not needed.
I’m not part of anything.
I have no purpose.
You have what I want.
You have what I’ll never have.
And I hate you for it.
Horrendous.
Unpleasant.
Gross.
It found me again today.
That deep down, sinking feeling.
We’re familiar friends.
My only friend, who visits often.
It brings a cold feeling of dread.
It brings a deep, dark ache.
I shake it from time to time.
But it takes a piece of me with it.
It leaves me weaker when it goes.
Each time it comes back stronger than the last.
As classmates received praise,
I could feel it begin to consume me.
I should be happy for them.
But I’m not.
The ache grows and intensifies.
It pulls me under.
It laughs at me.
It reminds me I’m worthless.
