“Hmm, Ryan?” I kissed his ear again.
“Nothing really. She called me Chad but told me I sounded like Ryan. She said she received the plant thing I sent but yelled at me for signing Ryan instead of Chad. I made the comment about how much she used to like them. She used to bring one home a few days before Christmas. Her boss always gave them to the employees, but she said it was my dad who brought them home. Then she said she had dinner with Dad and that he was coming back soon so they could take a stupid poinsettia plant to my grave.” He took another deep, shaky breath. “Anyhow. It was just another reminder that the only way I can manage to exist to her anymore is buried in the ground. I’m sorry, Russell.”
He grew restless and tried to step away from me, but I tightened my grip again and kept him against me.
“There is nothing for you to apologize for, Ryan.”
“Yes, there is. I can’t give you any part of my family. I can’t even say I come from a family. I’m basically dead to them. I come from shit and trash. You come from a world that I can’t even comprehend—”
I tightened my grip on him.
“You’re all I want and need, Ryan. I want to share my family with you. They adore you and love you.” I kissed his damp cheek. “I love you.”
My heart hurt for him. He carried too much guilt and pain, and all I wanted to do was spend the rest of my life undoing the damage they had done. Above all, I wanted him to truly believe and feel he was loved.
