“What? I was just curious.” Haley tried to defend her questions. Russell handled it all in stride and was perfectly calm.
“It’s all right. I’m very proud to talk about the ring and what I have with Ryan.”
Kent nodded. “I didn’t want her to overstep with her questions.”
“The inside of the ring has one word: Everything,” Russell answered Haley’s question.
“Oh,” Julia said quietly and put her hand on her chest.
“Isn’t that the sweetest?” Patricia added. When I glanced at her, she had her hand covering her mouth, as if she were choked up.
“I know,” Lily agreed with her. Lily’s hands were together with laced fingers. When I looked her in the eye, her hands quickly separated, and she began to fan her face. “Oh, I know. It’s the sweetest, most romantic thing ever.” Lily sighed and dabbed at her eyes with her napkin.
“Of course it’s the most romantic thing ever. Russell has a master of romance with the romance author,” Julia said.
What? No, I wasn’t the romantic one. Not by a long shot.
“Mmm, my heart would explode,” Patricia said and patted her hand over her heart.
I couldn’t let them think I was the romantic one.
“I’m not the romantic one,” I spoke up.
“He sure is. For Christmas and my birthday last year, he wrote me the most incredible notes.”
“Listen to that, Rick,” Julia said and playfully slapped him on the shoulder. “The young man writes love notes.” Julia leaned forward and looked at Lily and Patricia and then added, “I’m lucky if this one writes my name in a card, let alone anything romantic.”
“I’m lucky if I get a card,” Patricia laughed.
Thankfully, Rick and Kent were good sports about it, and Kent even jostled Russell and told him to hang on to me. It gave Russell the perfect opportunity to stretch his arm out around my shoulders. His touch almost made me ache. I definitely needed more of this from him.
“How come Ryan doesn’t have a ring?” Haley asked.
I quickly spoke up.
“Oh, I’m not really a ring wearer.”
“I bet you could be,” Russell nonchalantly said, causing all the women at the table to sigh and make oohs and ahhs.
“What?” I stared at him and then quickly at the women. “No, I’d feel terrible if I lost the ring. Like, I’d be sick if I lost a ring Russell gave me.”
“You wouldn’t lose it,” Russell confidently said before putting with a bite of pie in his mouth.
“But I could lose it and then I’d feel horrible.”
“You wouldn’t lose it, Ryan.”
“But I could!” I emphasized.
“What if it was tattooed to your finger too?” Russell looked me in the eyes. “Just in case.”
I closed my eyes briefly and remembered the stupid game I played with him in the car on our drive across country. I felt sick inside because I realized that he wanted us to have wedding rings … which meant marriage. He wanted to be married and maybe have kids, and I’d taken all of that away from him.
When I opened my eyes again, I stared down at my bracelet. This meant the same to me as the ring meant to Russell.
After dessert, Stanley, Kent, Rick, Russell and all the kids went into the living room while Patricia and Julia were going to help Lily clear the table. I was supposed to go into the living room with the others, but I felt like helping. I thought it would be easier than being right beside Russell and not being able to touch him the way I desperately needed. I told Russell that I’d be right there because I wanted to help his mom for a bit.
I carried the dishes into the kitchen and could tell the women weren’t expecting me to appear at all. They were seated at the kitchen island sipping from mugs of coffee.
