“I see an incredibly sexy, strong, young man. He got mixed up with someone who betrayed his trust. I see a man who no longer second guesses his submissive side and no longer questions who he is. I see a man who is still positively affected by this type of dynamic. He wants it and needs it. I see a man who is one step closer to taking back his life, and I see a man who isn’t afraid to allow himself to be happy.”
I swallowed hard as she pressed her fingertips under my chin while her thumb stroked my five o’clock shadow. Tabitha’s eyes bore into mine and were unrelenting. I wasn’t able to put together a coherent sentence. Tabitha had completely stripped me bare. My mind, body, and soul were exposed.
“What do you think, Andrew? Am I right?”
Yes.
“I … don’t know, Mistress Tabitha.”
I should have said yes, because that was the truth. But I went into a protective mode because I hadn’t at all expected this tonight. I felt as though I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown, and I didn’t want to do that in front of her. I clamped my mouth tightly shut and looked down. Suddenly, I felt cold, and I didn’t even have to look up to see if she saw my body shiver. Tabitha was one of the most observant Tops, so of course she saw.
To make matters worse, I understood perfectly what was happening to my body. And for the life of me, I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
10
Andrew
Ishouldn’t be dropping.
Maybe I wasn’t dropping.
Why else would I feel overly emotional, cold, and shaking?
James had taught me that not all emotional responses were drops … but they could be.
“Andrew, shall we go sit in the main room for a while?” Tabitha asked me.
“Yes, I’d like that, Mistress Tabitha.”
As I slowly put my clothes back on, I could feel her watching me. She wasn’t blind or an idiot. She knew exactly what was going on.
I wondered what she thought of my response to her question, as if I thought her assessments were correct. Everything she’d said was right.
“Ready?” she asked as I ran my hand down my chest to smooth out my t-shirt.
I tried to shake everything off because I didn’t want my face to show signs of an instant drop or for anyone to think that maybe Mistress Tabitha had put me through the wringer.
“I am, yes.”
“Relax, Andrew. Focus on my back as you follow me. We’ll sit for a while.”
I could only nod. I took a deep breath as she opened the door. Sounds from other sessions in full swing flooded the hallway as we made our way to the main room. The sound of her heels clicking against the hardwood floors reverberated in my head.
Tabitha grabbed a heated throw and a bottle of water from the counter as we entered the main room. I did as she asked and tried to keep my focus on her as she walked. Before Tabitha sat down, she opened the throw and spread it over the backrest cushion.
“Have a seat,” she instructed.
I followed instructions without issue, and as soon as I leaned back, Tabitha draped the throw over my shoulders. She pressed the palm of her hand against the base of my neck. Every few moments, her fingers and thumb lightly rubbed my neck over the fleece. A combination of the blanket and Tabitha’s hand began to warm my body.
“Just relax and try not to put too much thought into anything yet.”
It was such wonderful advice that I would have loved to have been able to follow. I stared absentmindedly at the loveseat that was across from where we sat. I tried not to think, but the thoughts rushed in.
“Was your time in the room with me what you had hoped it would be?” Tabitha asked quietly.
“It was more than I thought it would be. It exceeded my expectations,” I admitted.
“That makes me happy, Andrew.”
