While my goal was to let him explore and spread his wings with my guidance, there was a huge, selfish part of me that wanted him for myself. That selfish part reminded me of my desires nearly every time my eyes fell on him. But one of my best features was patience. It had been a long time since I’d pursued anyone. I had experience playing with broken and damaged people, but none were at the depth quite like Brandon.
My main goal with Brandon was to keep him safe while he continued to heal and explore the world that would accept him like no other. A fear that I had with him was that he might let a partner physically hurt him without speaking up. With him being at my house for a few weeks now, I knew that Brandon feared being cast aside, abandoned, or left. I was concerned that he might struggle with the end of a play session because he might feel left behind, or not good enough for anyone to want to play with him again. Whoever he played with would have to be on their toes with him. Or, I would need to be present to ensure nothing would go too far.
As I watched Brandon get dressed for his first visit to the club, the selfish side of me came out. There would be many Tops and Mistresses at Club Oxygen who would love to get their hands on Brandon. But it didn’t matter because they’d have to go through me first. While he stood by the mirror and messed with his hair, my eyes gazed upon the faded bruises, scars, and healing wounds on his back. I wondered how much he might be able to withstand from someone like me. Not just the physical part, but the mental and emotional parts too. Exactly what were his triggers going to be like? It didn’t matter, though; I would be right beside him and would help him with them.
Brandon set his comb down on top of the gray and white granite vanity and then turned to look at me while I leaned on the doorway. He stood in just a pair of bright blue boxer briefs, and just as he tried to smile, he reached up to touch his mouth. I knew if he walked around Club Oxygen looking like he did right now, he’d have tons of people interested in mere moments. He was a lost puppy about to wander into a den full of hungry wolves.
But he was my pup.
“You said you put my clothes on my bed?” he asked eagerly.
“Yes, remember, you’ll remain clothed tonight. I just want to walk you through the club, and I’ll introduce you to a few people. But mainly I want you to see the club.”
“Okay. What do people usually wear? Nothing?” he asked innocently.
“Remember our conversation about the Tops, Doms, and Mistresses?”
“Yes,” he acknowledged.
“They usually are the ones clothed, and the bottoms and submissives typically wear less. Sometimes the men wear nothing more than what you have on now. Each situation and dynamic is different, though,” I explained.
“What do the two people that are also under your protection wear?”
“Alison typically wears a bra and panties, and Joshua wears boxer briefs similar to yours. They usually stay in them until they have a session arranged.”
He nodded and then looked down, but I had a feeling that he had something on his mind.
“Brandon, pup,” I said, and then he looked up immediately. “What are you thinking?”
“I was just wondering if…” Brandon’s voice dropped, and he closed his mouth tightly. He looked down again, and I wondered if it was a case of shyness, or was he uneasy about going?
“What were you wondering, pup?” I encouraged him to speak his mind and reminded him that I wouldn’t be angry or disappointed in whatever he had to say.
Brandon brought his head up, and his eyes were red and glossy. Tears were waiting at his wall, ready to push through. I put my hands on his shoulders and gently squeezed, hoping that it would encourage him.
“I was just wondering … if you will bring me home with you tonight. I … I don’t want to be left there with anyone,” he muttered.
“Brandon,” I said his name and pulled him against me. He was so afraid to be left that it almost tore me in two. “Of course, I will bring you home with me, pup.”
“Okay,” he mumbled. “I thought so, but I had started to worry and just wanted to make sure.”
“I don’t ever want you to be afraid to ask me anything. Anytime you feel shaky and need some reassurance, please ask me, and I will always tell you the truth. Okay?”
“Okay. I don’t want to be given to anyone.”
“Brandon, you aren’t property. No one can give you away, pup.”
“I know. But things could change if money is involved,” he stammered.
I felt aches in my stomach and chest over the worries and fears he’d just expressed. The FBI had been keeping me well informed on the development of the investigation, and after all of the interviews with the others, only Brandon and another young woman hadn’t stayed at the kink house voluntarily. It had been speculated that somehow there had possibly been an exchange of money for them, but none of the men arrested had admitted it. I hadn’t pushed Brandon too much regarding this topic, but I thought now might be a good time to bring it up.
“Did someone give them money for you, pup?”
I tried to speak in as calm of a tone as possible, but the idea that someone had the audacity tothinkthat they had some right to Brandon just sickened me. I felt Brandon jerk in my arms, but he wasn’t panicking to get free.
“Hmm? Did you see money being exchanged?” I asked gently. “What do you remember about that night? You mentioned your friend left to go get the car, but he never came back.”
Brandon paled and closed his eyes for a moment. When he reopened his blue eyes, he looked nervous.
