“Brandon?” I heard James call out from the kitchen.
I’m in here!I wanted to yell, but nothing would come out.
“Brandon? Where are you at, pup?” James’ voice was louder, so I knew he was closer and coming down the hallway. “Brandon,” his voice was calm, but I could tell that he was concerned.
James sat on the edge of the pet bed and put his hand on my arm. I rolled over to face him and saw that he held my note about going for a walk in his other hand. When I looked up at him, I couldn’t control the tears. I closed my eyes and pounded my fist against the blanket on the bed.
“Brandon, you’re wet, pup,” he soothed as he reached for the cuff of my hoodie. I freaked out when he took hold of my wrist and quickly apologized.
“I’m sorry. I just hate myself,” I cried. I pressed the palms of my shaking hands against my eyes.
“Brandon.”
“I can’t even go for a walk by myself without falling apart,” I sobbed.
My chest ached, and I moved one of my hands from my eyes to my chest. James wrapped his hands firmly around my fists so that I would sit still. Panic set in deeper, and I closed my eyes and lowered my head. I was jeopardizing staying here. I tried hard to force myself to relax and stop behaving this way. I didn’t want him to kick me out.
“I’m sorry,” I panted and repeated it over and over as if I were a broken record.
“Brandon, relax. Shh, calm down and focus on breathing for me,” he told me.
“I c-can’t. I d-don’t w-want to have to l-leave.”
“I’m not going to make you leave, pup.”
“P-please d-don’t leave me t-tonight,” I begged.
“I won’t leave you alone for even a moment. Okay?”
I nodded.
“Now, I’m going to get these wet clothes off of you, okay?”
I nodded again.
James slowly let go of my balled-up fists and pulled my arms out from the hoodie. My shirt was next, and then he had me roll over and lay flat on my back. After he pulled off my shoes and socks, he told me to relax again and explained that he was going to help me out of my pants. He undid my jeans and told me to raise my hips all while keeping his eyes on me. James pulled my jeans down, leaving me in my boxer briefs. He pressed his hand along the waistband and on the sides, checking for dampness. Nothing felt wet when he pressed his hand against me, but I was still chilled to the bone.
When he pulled the blanket up over my body, he stayed seated and rubbed my side over the blanket. I rolled over facing him and curled my legs up against his butt as he moved his hand from rubbing on my side to my lower back.
“Brandon, you’ve been through hell. Give yourself some slack and a chance to heal, pup. It’ll be okay. I promise.”
I nodded and closed my eyes. I dozed in and out of sleep for most of the evening, and each time I opened my eyes, James was right there. He continued to stroke my back when I woke up again and looked at him.
“Can a sadist love?” I asked him the question that I had been thinking about off and on since learning he was the yin to my yang.
“Most definitely, pup,” he said with a gentle smile.
“Can … can I be under your protection?” I nervously asked.
“Brandon, you’ve been under my protection since the night I met you.”
I stared at him and thought about Sebastian and his men that took me and hurt me in ways I had never imagined. They thought they broke me, but they hadn’t. As I looked James in the eye, I realized that he was far more dangerous than Sebastian and his men, or even Eli had been. James could give me everything, but if he stopped caring about me, he’d break me.
14
James
Each weekI looked forward to going to Club Oxygen. But this week I was especially looking forward to attending because I was taking Brandon with me. Since I learned a bit more about Brandon’s personality and the fact that he was a masochist, I was eager to take him to a place where he would be welcomed.
