“Hey James,” I said and smiled. “Do you have a minute?”
“I always have a minute for you, Andrew. Have a seat,” James offered and reached for his glass.
James took another sip and had set his glass back down by the time I gingerly sat down in the chair to the right of him. Brandon sat down across from me and to James’ left. Brandon sat there with a determined look on his face, and suddenly I was a little nervous that maybe he’d say something to James that he shouldn’t. Or at least something that I thought he shouldn’t.
“That’s an old crop you have there.” James reached his hand out and gestured to the crop. “May I?” he asked.
“Yes, of course.” I gently handed it over to him. “It’s what I came to talk with you about, actually.”
James turned it over in his hands a few times and examined it from the leather tipped tongue all the way to the handle and leather wrist strap.
“Clearly, this has seen its fair share of fun.” He touched the leather tongue and smiled. “It’s kissed lots of flesh. In fact, I believe this has touched the flesh of four of my own.”
“Four?” I asked.
“Yes. Joshua, Allison, Brandon, and you.”
“Me?”
I realized that somehow James knew that it was Elise’s crop; thus, he knew I was having sessions with her. All of the buttons would pop off his perfectly pressed shirt if he knew I was sleeping on a pallet…and had signed a contract with her…and had sustained multiple days’ worth of beatings in the same location…and that she had ignored my safe word.
I wasn’t sure what to say to him. I felt embarrassed because I knew that he knew I was playing with Elise, and that I had failed him by playing in an unsafe atmosphere. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. James was always difficult to read.
I looked up nervously and met Brandon’s glare. I think James picked up on my unease.
“Brandon, would you give us a few minutes to talk, please?”
“Yes, Sir,” Brandon said as he stood. He gave me another hard look and walked toward the bar.
“You may have flown my coop and stepped outside my wings, but you will always be one of mine,” James informed me as he rubbed the neck of the crop. Then he looked up at me and clarified, “That is, until you are collared.”
“Maybe someday that will happen, but I’m not looking for that right now.”
“I know.”
“How did you know that was Elise’s crop?” I asked.
“I observe things very closely. When someone new wants to top any one of those under my care, I pay very close attention to everything. She may have used other impact toys on them during their sessions, but this crop was present for all of them as well.”
“Oh,” I said and nodded. I knew he catches everything, which made me worry that maybe he was already seeing through me.
“Tell me how you came to have a session with her?” James asked me.
“I was here one night and was talking to Brandon. Elise approached us, and Brandon thought she was there for him or hoped she’d negotiate with him. He had his red necklace on, so I knew he couldn’t play. But he kind of got mad when Elise negotiated a session with me.”
“I see.” James leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “What did you want to see me about regarding this crop?”
“Well, as you know, this is Elise’s crop. It’s special to her but has seen better days. I wanted to do something nice for her and get it conditioned and repaired.”
“I know someone who can take care of this and do up a really nice job. This shouldn’t be an issue.”
“Great! Thank you.”
Just as I started to stand, he told me to stay seated.Shit.
“Andrew, I have been very proud of you, and you have made clear, sound decisions.” He paused and then set the crop on his lap and leaned back in his chair. I could tell that he was looking at the mark on my cheek. “I want you to be very cautious and listen to your gut. Do not listen to that heart of yours right now.”
“I will. I promise.”
