16
Russell
It had beenone month since Ryan moved in and I was starting to feel confident that he was settling in and falling into a routine. Routines are very important for him to feel calm and at ease, so I made sure to encourage routines and establishing schedules for us. Now that he was settling, I wanted to officially collar him.
I walked around the house looking for him to talk to him about a trip to my beach house. I wanted to collar him there by the ocean. Ryan was in the small gym I had towards the back of the house. He was sitting on the bench of the weights set staring out of the gym to a room with a closed door. I quickly spoke up so that he wouldn’t ask me about that room. Not yet.
“Ryan, I want to take you to my beach house this weekend,” I announced.
“This weekend?”
“Yes. I want to spend some time with you. Just us.”
“Are you going to bang me in your beach house?” He playfully asked with a wicked gleam.
“Of course,” I laughed. “But you know, I never just bang you. I love you. Ryan.”
“I know. This might not make any sense, but, even though I know you never just bang me, I still like to see the confirmation. Or hear it,” he admitted while maintaining focus on my chest. He glanced up in my eyes to see what I thought of that statement. “Or that I’m what you want and need. Even though I know it, I need to hear it. It…keeps me sane.”
I smiled at him. I have known for quite a while now that Ryan runs when he feels insecure or afraid about something. Ryan will always need me to reassure him. Not because he didn’t trust me, but because he would always think it was too good to be true for him.
“I know, my boy. I know. I don’t have a problem with reassuring you daily. And you’ll find that eventually, you won’t need it every day. You might go a few days in between needing it. But no matter, I will always take the time to reassure you.”
A genuine smile appeared on his face, which made me happy.
“I’m looking forward to going to see your beach house.”
“I’m glad to hear that, my boy. We’ll fly to LAX in the morning and spend the weekend.”
All night, the only thing that I could think of was putting the bracelet around his wrist.
* * *
“So,during the past forty minutes I decided that private jets are badass,” Ryan said as he hoisted our weekend bag over his shoulder.
“Jets are badass, but try to remember that’s not my jet,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, but you have a connection for them. That’s badass. I don’t have many friends who have private jet connections.” He paused while we walked to the car rental place. “Well, I don’t have many friends at all. But I doubt the ones I do have, have private jet connections.”
“All you need is a few good friends, Ryan. And I’m pretty sure you have that.”
He smiled, and with a grin added, “With private jet connections.”
I shook my head at him while we waited in line and mused to myself how in so many ways, he’s still very much like a big kid. He gets excited about baseball, cars, and jets just like a little kid would.Except for trains.I didn’t care who was looking, but I needed to reach out and touch him as I thought of him curled up in a corner of a dark, abandoned boxcar. I put both hands on his shoulders and jostled him to pull his attention back to me.
“Are you hungry, Ryan?”
“Yes!”
“After we get the rental car, we’ll go get some food. Any particular place you’d like to go or are you in the mood for something specific?”
Ryan looked at my groin area and playfully wagged his eyebrows at me. I was pleased to see him in a lighthearted mood, he is a pure joy to me when he’s feeling good.
“I’ll take care of all your hunger needs, my boy,” I said just before we were called to the counter.
It wasn’t possible for me not to laugh as I saw how red his face became. God, I loved this man. We finally got the keys to a rental car and made our way to Malibu. Even though Malibu wasn’t too far from the airport, the traffic over here could make any driving venture a chore.
“That’s the interchange you’d take to go to my home,” Ryan announced as we passed a change over.
