“Yes, you will. You don’t understand. It won’t be your fault, though.”
“Explain, Ryan.”
I stared into his home office while locked in Russell’s embrace. His arms were the only arms that have held me. I had to try to voice this.
“You’re older than me. There’s a higher chance of you…you going first. And…and I don’t think I’ll be able to make it without you. You’re the only person who has loved me, and it will destroy me, if you go first. I’ll be alone again.”
“Oh, Ryan,” Russell soothed and stroked my hair. “Listen to me. Are you listening?” I nodded my head while it rested on his chest. “I will never leave you.” He pulled me off of his chest and looked me in the eyes as he put one of his hands on my heart. “If the day comes where I leave this earth ahead of you, you won’t be alone. I will always be with you and I will always watch over you.” He pulled me close again and kissed my forehead.
“I’ve never lost anyone to death that I’ve loved or who has loved me. So, it scares me,” I admitted.
“I understand completely, Ryan. We have a long way to go, my boy.”
It seemed like we stood there forever until I was all cried out. I lifted my arm and bumped Russell’s side with my stuff from the safe deposit box. Russell kept an arm around my shoulder and took hold of my stuff.
“What’s this?” he asked.
“Stuff. Important stuff, I guess. Well, it’s all of my important stuff. I’ve had this in a safe deposit box.” I took a deep breath and then said, “I figured that there was no reason for me to have a safe deposit box, when you have a safe here.”
Russell looked from the birth certificate, a folder with my mom’s documents, and the stock certificate then up at me. I think he knew what I was agreeing to by handing him the items. A huge smile spread across his face.
“Does this mean what I think it means?” he asked.
“Yes. I want to move in with you…Sir.”
Russell kissed my lips and wrapped me up in a hug.
“I promise you, Ryan, I will take excellent care of you, your heart, and soul.”
“I know, I’m not afraid. I trust you.”
