Or had he worded it like that so I would know that he would take part in the decision making for my place because he doesn’t trust me to be able to make a decision? Or did he want to control it? Did he want to control me?
“Ryan, settle down, my boy.”
“What did you mean bywe?” I whispered.
“I meantweas in you and I are together in this. I’m not just going to tell you to figure it out. I want to help you think and talk about all of options for your house.”
I nodded. That’s kind of what I thought, too. It just helps to hear them spoken out loud.
“If I sell it, do you want some money? Or how much money do you want from me each month for living expenses?”
“Ryan, I don’t want any money from you.”
“I’m not a kept man!” I said louder than I had intended.
“I didn’t say that you were.”
“I can earn my keep. I can pay for stuff. I have some money.”
“I know you have money and I know you’re capable, but it’s not necessary.”
“Why? Let me help contribute to your mortgage payment,” I said. I couldn’t begin to fathom what a mortgage payment on a house like this would cost. “I don’t know how much it is, but I could contribute what I was paying on my place,” I offered.
“Ryan, no.”
“Why? Why won’t you let me help cover the cost of the mortgage?”
“I don’t have a mortgage,” he kissed my lips.
He didn’t have a mortgage.
My mouth relaxed as I began to absorb what that meant, and how much money Russell really had. Russell’s mouth moved over mine and his tongue shoved mine around. His mouth made me forget about the stressful topic of moving in. I let go of the worries and let myself get lost with him.
* * *
I scarfeddown the pancakes and bacon that Russell made this morning as he ate his at his usually steady and calm pace. The plan was for me to take the day to think about the move…without his influence.
“I will admit it, I don’t like the idea of you spending the day alone to mull over this,” Russell said before taking a sip of his coffee.
“I just need time to think, Russell.”
“I want you to promise me that if anything comes to mind that would want to ask or discuss, that you’ll call me, or at minimum text me. I will be available all day, Ryan. This is important.”
“I promise.”
“And if you start getting cold feet, I want you to call me.”
“So you can talk me into it?” I smirked.
“No, my boy. So I can talk you off the ledge that you’ll be mentally standing on.”
I went home after breakfast. I had a lot to think about. I stood in my living room and looked around. Packing wouldn’t be too rough because I really didn’t have much.
Shit.
What would we do with my stuff? I pulled my phone out and sent Russell a text asking him about my stuff.
Russell: Are there any furnishings that you’d like to bring?
