10
Russell
Under my hand,I could feel Ryan’s abdomen flex and his body began to stir. As I propped myself up, I turned the light on. He was uncovered, and the gray t-shirt of mine that he wore to bed was raised above his belly button. The t-shirt was discolored around the neck and center of the chest. Ryan’s right hand clutched the leg band of his boxer briefs, while his left hand was balled up in a fist.
“Ryan, wake up,” I said quietly.
I spread my fingers wide to cover more of his skin as I gently jostled him awake. Ryan jolted awake and pushed himself upright. His eyes moved frantically around the room and he began rolling his shoulders.
“Relax, Ryan,” I encouraged while he got his bearings.
Though I tried to keep my motions slow and calm rather than make a big deal out of his obvious nightmare, he still pushed himself out of bed and away from me.Dammit. We both stood on opposite sides of the bed. I stared at him while he paced a little and started shaking out his hands. His face was covered in distress. I walked around the bed slowly and as I got closer, I could see how sweaty his forehead was.
“Ryan, sit on the sofa. I’ll go get you some water.”
I thought that giving him some time to himself while I went to retrieve some water would be a good idea for his sake. I know how he gets when he wakes up from these. He becomes physically distant, which makes him emotionally distant too. And I don’t like him distant, especially when he’s raw from climbing out of whatever hell he just experienced again.
“I don’t want to talk,” Ryan said while taking a few steps in each direction.
“I won’t ask you about your dream. But I would like for you to sit on the sofa while I go get you some water.”
He gripped his t-shirt around his abdomen while still shaking out his left arm and hand. Ryan seemed to be growing more agitated with each passing second. His face had quickly become flushed. As he rolled his shoulders and neck, he abruptly stopped and grabbed his left hand.
“Ryan,” I said his name as I walked forward.
“No, I’m fine,” Ryan blurted out.
As I closed in on him, he opened and closed his left fist. I reached for his left arm, but kept my eyes on him. He didn’t put up a fight or resist. I held his fist in my hand and wrapped my other hand over it. Warning bells began going off as I discovered how cold his hand was.
“My arm…and hand,” he began.
“Does your chest hurt?” I pointedly asked.
“No,” he whined and tried to pull his hand away.
“Please try to calm down, Ryan.”
“It’s been falling asleep more and more often.”
I probably did a lousy job of hiding my shock and I quickly tried to pull it back in. I was concerned that this had been going on and I hadn’t seen it. It was just another reminder that I needed him under this roof.
“How long has this been going on?”
“The cold hand stuff has been going on for about a month or two. But just off and on. It’s just falling asleep.”
“That can be a sign of a circulation problem, Ryan.”
I didn’t want to alarm him, but I was seriously concerned about it being a cardiovascular issue. And I wasn’t going to fuck with that.
“Ryan, does the rest of your arm hurt?”
“It’s numb and cold. It’ll be okay.”
He didn’t look okay. The sweating could be from the nightmare, but I was worried it was from something else. He was too important to me. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand.
“Ryan, we’re going to go to the emergency room,” I started calmly.
“What?”
