I leaned forward again, reached out, and slid my fingers between his neck and his collar. Electricity coursed through my veins as I slowly curled my hand around the leather. I tugged ever so slightly on it, pulling him towardsme.
“This was meant for you, Ryan.” I leaned further so that I could kiss his forehead. “You make it look incredible.” He smiled, and his cheeks flushed. “Nothing that Leonard has done, has ever created a spark in me. I require more than what Leonard can genuinely provide. I require what you genuinely provide effortlessly, Ryan. Seeing you nervously kneel in front of me, looking up in my eyes and asking me to teach you how to touch me, creates more of a spark than anything Leonard thinks he does with precision. The trust in your eyes and the sincerity of your words, fulfill me. I replay the night that I came on your back in my playroom over and over. The sight of my cum running down your back, is very intimate to me. It’s one of the fondest moments of my life, Ryan. Watching you explore and experience this new world you have found, fulfills me. Tasting you, kissing you, touching you, watching how a simple compliment brings you joy…all fulfill me.” I tugged him a little closer. “You are damn good enough forme.”
I could tell that Ryan was at a loss for words and perhaps somewhat shell shocked. But I could see a glassy sheen of tears in his eyes. Maybe it was everything that I had said to him, or maybe it was one or two key phrases, but I had a strong suspicion that it was the strip of leather around his neck adorned with a platinum token that meant everything tohim.
“Now, come up here and lay down with me so I can holdyou.”
I moved back on the bed giving him room to climb in next to me. I knew he was nervous, but he craved touch. He needed the guesswork taken out ofthis.
“Lay on your side,Ryan.”
I waited until he got himself situated before I pushed my arm under his pillow and wrapped my other arm over his. I picked up my cell phone that was near his pillow, and we spent the next hour looking back at all of the pictures I had ever sent him. I gave him the explanation as to what I saw in them or why I sent them. It was a good way to break the ice and distract him from being in bed withme.
Every now and then, I’d feel him shiver. I passed it off though as a sign of being nervous, but by the fourth time I noticed it, I switched hands from the phone and held my hand against his stomach. The shiver came almostinstantly.
It could be that he was cold, but I thought it was likely that he had been that affected by what I had said to him and the impact of the collar on him. He was possibly at the point where an emotional reaction was triggering physicalreactions.
“Are you cold,Ryan?”
“Yeah, I’ll get a shirt,” he agreed and began tomove.
I tugged him closer and pulled up the sheet. I frowned when I realized he didn’t have a blanket on his bed. His sheets were very thin and pilling in areas, and he only had a light quilt on top. I would see to it that he had properbedding.
I stroked his stomach and felt his body relax against mine. Once he turned the light out and was under the cover of darkness, he wrapped his hand over mine against his stomach. It was a huge step for Ryan. I kissed his ear, and then he patted my hand and quietly asked, “Is thisokay?”
“Of course,Ryan.”
“Good. If I have my hand on yours, then I’ll be able to tell when you leave. I don’t want you to leave without waking me up to tellme.”
My heart ached. He was so scared to be left. He expected people to just disappear. I pulled him tighter against mybody.
“I’m not going anywhere,Ryan.”
Somewhere during the dead of night, I woke up to Ryan making erratic movements in bed. I pulled back the sheet to see if his hands were gripping anything. The way he gripped his cock through his boxer briefs told me that this was a nightmare and not some erotic dream. I turned the light on and gently rubbed his arm to wake him up and get him out of the hands of whoever was hurtinghim.
Ryan bolted up and saw me. He got out of bed and paced the length of his bed. The sheets were soaked where his body had been as well as his pillow. He walked along the edge of the bed with his hand on hisstomach.
“Ryan,” I called hisname.
“I’m sorry, Russell. Sleeping with me is a badidea.”
I got out of bed and stood between him and his bedroomdoor.
“Don’t apologize for a nightmare. I love you. All of you,Ryan.”
He finally stopped pacing, and his shoulders slumped forward. He reached up and traced the tag that hung from his play collar.Yes, touch it, Ryan.I slowly closed the space between us and rubbed up and down his arms. When his arms relaxed more, I pulled him into anembrace.
“Sorry,” hemuttered.
“Ryan, it’s alright, myboy.”
Though he wouldn’t wrap his arms around me, I knew that I couldn’t push him too much right now. This was probably the first time he had ever been comforted after waking up from a nightmare. Permitting himself to be held as much as I was holding him was a lot for him. I could see the shame in his eyes and written all over his face when we pulledapart.
I found him a dry pair of his underwear and one of my t-shirts that I gave him and set them in hishands.
“Change and step into something dry andwarm.”
“Can I keep this on?” Ryan pointed to hiscollar.
