“I did, Ryan,” Iconfirmed.
“God, he’s…he’s really beenarrested.”
Ryan clasped his hands behind his head and looked up at the sky. I knew this would shock him, especially visually with the video of thearrest.
“You did that forme?”
“Absolutely. My cell signal was shit in most areas I was at and drove to,” Iexplained.
I gave Ryan a few minutes to digest this news. He eyed the portfolioagain.
“What’s in there?” he hesitantlyasked.
I pulled it over and opened it. He frowned as he thumbed through the pictures of his school yearbook pictures. He waslost.
“I don’t get it,” he saidslowly.
“While I was in L.A., I visited your mother at the Ventura SeniorHome.”
I had been prepared for him to be confused or even angry. What I hadn’t been prepared for was the look that appeared on his face;hope.
“My mom?” Ryan swallowed hard and listened as I told him about my conversation with her. “Did she remember me when she saw the pictures? Or did she say anything when you showed her my picture from Christmas?” he asked with his voice full of hope. I remembered the look on his mother’s face when I asked her if she could, what she’d say tohim.
I shook my head and watched my boy’s heart break again over the woman who deserved no sympathy from him. He nodded and looked away to try to pull the wall back up and steelhimself.
“Ryan,”
“It’s okay. Did, um…did she say she wassorry?”
“No, Ryan,” I said as gently as Icould.
He nodded slowly and stood from the table. I gave him a little space, and when he walked away from the table, I stood. Ryan moved away from me towards the edge of the grass with his hands on his stomach. When he reached the lawn, he crouched down and folded his arms over his knees. As I made my way to him, he lowered his head to his knees as he sobbed as quietly as hecould.
I knelt down on one knee just to the side of him and wrapped my arms around him to comforthim.
“I love you,Ryan.”
He brought his head up and leaned into my arms. I held him until he stopped shaking, and his breathing calmeddown.
“Come on, my boy. Let’s go lie down and relax for a while,” I said and tried to nudgehim.
“I’m comfortable here,” hemurmured.
“That pleases me, but I’d like to hold you for a while inside, if you don’tmind.”
I got him to come inside with me, and when we got to my room, he pulled off his shoes and jeans and allowed me to guide him to my bed. Mental and emotional exhaustion topped off with shock would set in soon, and I wanted to be by his side for it. My heart ached for him and what he must befeeling.
I stripped down to my boxer briefs and crawled into bed beside him flat on my back. Ryan moved closer and nudged my arm until I raised it and made room for him. He snuggled close and rested his weary head on my shoulder andchest.
“Do you want to know what the best part of my day yesterday was?” Ryanmumbled.
I kissed the top of hishead.
“Of course,Ryan.”
“The best part was that you came back to me,” hesaid.
Each time I thought that it was impossible for this young man to claim more of my heart, he surprisedme.
