Ryan:Okay.
My phone lit up with an incoming call from him, and I took a deep breath beforeanswering.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Ryan. Talk tome.”
It was so good to hear him; to hear a friend. A true friend. Someone who understoodme.
“Russell, I don’t want to behere.”
“I know, Ryan. Are you under thepier?”
“Yes,” I admitted. Russell knew that I went to Venice Beach as a kid and young adult for peace. He knew the pier was my sanctuary. “She didn’t even know me.” My voice started to break, so I pulled the phone away from my head. I took another deep breath before putting the phone to my earagain.
“Ryan, are you listening tome?”
“I’mhere.”
“Deep breath, Ryan. Is your car parkedfar?”
“Across thestreet.”
“Let’s go back to your car. I’m right here withyou.”
He was. I put my hand on the pillar and used it as support while I stood. I walked from the damp sand to the dry sand and then across the street. Russell talked to me as I made my way to the car and I replied to him whenever he asked me something. I pulled my car door shut and leaned my head back on the headrest and closed myeyes.
“Ryan, you’ve had an emotionally draining day. Is there a hotel closeby?”
There were lots of motels in the area and most weren’t the best. I was so tired though, I considered just sleeping in mySUV.
“Yes, I will findone.”
Russell stayed on the phone with me until I pulled into a Holiday Inn parkinglot.
“Check-in and text me when you get to your room,Ryan.”
“Okay. I’ll text you in abit.”
I grabbed my bag from the back seat and went to the lobby. After a check-in process that took a lot longer than I had patience for, I trudged to my room. I flipped the light on and locked thedoor.
Ryan: I’m in my roomnow.
Russell: Take a warm shower and then callme.
Ryan:Okay.
I was so exhausted that I barely had enough energy to take the damn shower. But Russell was right; after a day like today I’d sleep better after a shower. I pulled the comforter back and plopped down on the bed. When my head hit the pillow, it slowly sunk down to the mattress.Fucking hotel pillows suck.I shut my eyes for a moment. It had all hit me and I had no energy, but I told Russell that I’dcall.
“Are you in bed?” Russellasked.
My eyes were closed. Exhaustion was taking overquickly.
“Yes.”
“Good, Ryan. I want you to try to relax and get a decent night’srest—”
“She thinks I’m dead,” I interrupted him. “She didn’t know me. Chad told her that I was a mover. She knows him, but not me. She was looking for my death certificate so she could put an obituary in the newspaper.” Tears threatened to spill out of my closed eyes. “She said I died on the fucking train tracks at my dad’s work. He used to take me there…pass me around. I’d go to abandonedcars.”
