Chapter Nine
Russell
Ryan had nearedhis breaking point. His upper back was beet red. Physically and mentally, I had pushed him. This had been a touch and go week for Ryan. He’d come over in the evenings and was receptive to everything, but when he would leave and I talked to him later on the phone, I could tell in his voice that he was lost. Perhaps, fighting withhimself.
He wasn’t the only one fighting though. I wastoo.
I saw so much agony in his eyes and it broke my heart to see how he responded to the slightest touch, and smallest compliment. He’s so hungry and full of needs, and I had never wanted to nurture and care for another person as much as I did withRyan.
I must continue to be patient and focus only on his needs and not myown.
As he squirmed on the spanking bench, I paused to give him a moment to fight with himself. He forced himself to take more and more each time, simply so he could cry. These impact sessions were his permission to cry. All because his asshole parents were cruel andtorturous.
Last week I had asked him what he heard as a child that had a major impact on his life. His response was that his father told him that boys don’t cry. Ryan has had that beat into him from his developmental phase. If he cried, he was called names. He was forced to show little or no emotion. He couldn’t cry at home. He’d always felt that crying defined his masculinity. That was why he associated pain with crying. If he physically hurt, he could justify thetears.
He pulled his shoulders up towards his ears; he had reached his max. I knew he had been fighting with himself for the past few minutes. He tried to force himself to take more as he kept his tears at bay. He needed that releasenow.
I put my hand on his upper back over the brightly reddened skin and rubbed on it. As my hand moved across his back, I watched his face. Tears were close. His back arched and rose into my hand, successfully he latched onto my heart as well. He needed it so badly.Let it out,Ryan.
“You can cry, Ryan. It doesn’t affect yourmasculinity.”
He tried so hard to keep it in. Finally, some of the weight on his shoulders and pain in his soul broke free, and a sob erupted from deep within.I put my hand on his head and smoothed his hair while hecried.
“Good boy,” I praised. “I’m proud of you,Ryan.”
When I could feel him taking in deep breaths and exhaling them, I knew he felt refreshed. I wasn’t done with him though. I unbuckled the wrist and ankle restraints and took hold of his upper arm to help him off the bench. He stood before me with red, swollen eyes and his cock juttingup.
“Thank you for letting me meet your need today.” He nodded. “As a reward for you being so open and allowing yourself to cry, you maycome.”
His chin raised slightly when I thanked him and mentioned that he was to be rewarded. All of his needs would be met as a submissive, he just didn’t realize ityet.
I stood closer to him this time as he took himself in his own hand. I caught him as he glanced down his torso at his cock. I hoped he felt proud of it rather than ashamed, but I knew this would be a work in progress with him. I could tell that he had tried to stroke himself slowly. He’d make long, slow strokes a few times and then followed up with a couple quick jerks before he pulled his hand away. My heart warmed at the fact that he tried so hard to be cognizant of going slow. There had never been another person that I had wanted to experience all the pleasure in the world than Ryan. His mind and body ached forit.
“Rub your chest with your other hand,Ryan.”
He kept his head bowed and looked up at me as he stroked his cock. Ryan’s free hand went to his chest slowly. With his splayed hand, he awkwardly moved back and forth across his chest. He had no idea how enticing he was or how sexy his innocence was. Doms and Dommes alike would devourhim.
I didn’t dare move because I was afraid it would make him nervous and he’d stop. His cock looked so hard and his head glistened with pre-cum.Praise him for following your direction of rubbing on hischest.
“Good,Ryan.”
He smiled with the right side of his mouth upward higher than the left side. His smirk was a genuine reaction to the praise. The smirk, combined with the gleam in his eye, was an intoxicating mix. A very needy, playful, kink curious young man lay behind that heavily guardedwall.
“Rub your fingertips over yournipples.”
There was no delay. Ryan slowly lowered his gaze and his fingertips moved to his right nipple. With his fingertips circling his hard nipple, he raised his eyes to mine. He was waiting for further instructions.God, what I could do to this youngman.
“Goodboy.”
The look on his face nearly moved me from where I stood. ‘Good boy’ was worth its weight in gold to Ryan. His lips parted a little further and his tongue slowly came into sight as he moistened his lips.He’s sounaware.
“Pinch it,Ryan.”
I didn’t let my eyes leave his, but I could tell when he pinched his nipple. He closed his eyes for a moment, and when they reopened, the need to come was evident in them. I glanced down at his veiny cock that he stroked in a steady rhythm. He was turned on andready.
“Pinch the otherone.”
Ryan’s body had the same reaction; he closed his eyes, pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and stroked a little faster. When I heard the faintest whimper, I let him hear what he needed tohear.
