“Can I ask you something else?” I nodded. “You don’t have to answer this one. It might be too personal and I might be crossing aline.”
“Please ask, Ryan. You may ask meanything.”
“Do you prefer girls orguys?”
“I honestly don’t have a preference. I look beyond what most other people see at first glance. I seriously love fulfilling needs. I’ve played with both genders and enjoy that. Each individual and their need brings me something different. I can do a variety of things. What might be a limit to one, another person may crave. So, I really don’t have a genderpreference.”
He ate his cookie and then without looking up he asked, “Have you had sex withboth?”
“I have. I’ve played with both sexes at the same time aswell.”
“Do you, um—” He paused to search for his words. I was thrilled he was asking questions like this. It showed that he was at ease with me. “Do you fuck guys, or get fucked? I mean, I know what you do with the women; you fuck them. But I was just curious about what you do with theguys.”
“To answer your exact question with the same terminology, I only fuck. Eithersex.”
He nodded and occupied himself with another cookie. I glanced at his forearms to see if they had tiny chilled bumps of them, but they seemed clear of it at the moment. Since we were on an open comfort field of questions, I decided to ask a question of myown.
“May I ask you aquestion?”
“Yeah,anything.”
“After you came on yourself in the play room, why did you rushoff?”
“I had to clean myself up. I didn’t want to get anything on yourfloor.”
“There would have been no foul if something had gotten on the floor. I can assure you, plenty has been on myfloor.”
I paused as we both laughed, but I wanted it to sink in that his fluids were welcomed here and he didn’t need to hide them or fearthem.
“Why didn’t you use thetowels?”
Ryan’s face turned beet red. He had been surprised that I knew. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to listen and hear his haste in there and the toilet paper roll beingspun.
“I didn’t want to mess up your towels. The toilet paper works really well and then I can just flush it.” He shrugged as if it were no big deal to feel the need to be out of sight and out of mind. “Then it’s like I wasn’t even in the bathroom. No messed up towel with my stuff on it. I did use the soap to wash my hands and then the towel to drythem.”
He struggled with saying the word “cum” when it referred to his own. He could say it in terms of watching a video or reading about it. We had previously discussed videos over the phone. He could say it then, just not in reference to his. Ryan was still living as a caged soul.Push.
“You didn’t want to mess up a towel of mine with yourcum?”
He nodded and his hand found its way back to hisstomach.
“When you have sex, do you quickly trot off to the bathroomafter?”
Henodded.
“Do you come in your partner, or come in acondom?”
“Condom,” he said quickly. “It’s safe and keeps my stuff out of them. I mean, I can’t get anyone pregnant. I can’t have kids,” he reminded me. “But still. It’s best.”Hand to the back of his neck. Don’t push much more right now.“I don’t actually care about sex,” headmitted.
“When you get to the privacy of the bathroom after you’ve masturbated, like today, do you ever look in the mirror at thecum?”
He quickly shook hishead.
“Anyreason?”
“No. I justdon’t.”
I knew the reason. He had been conditioned not to. I recalled in one of his emails that he said the reason he was a bad kid was because he’d touched himself. His hand clutched at his t-shirt around his abdomen. Enough pushing fornow.
