Chapter Three
Russell
Iquietly leanedagainst the table near my implement and toy area, and observed Ryan as he undressed. I had told myself that I needed to view his motions and actions from two points of view. One as a Top, and one as a bottom. I knew where he fell in my mind after he left my house Friday. I hadn’t been sold on him being a ServiceTop.
Putting his boots under thetable.
I had no doubt that I could train him to be a Service Top. He’d enjoy it and could make it pleasurable for the bottom. He’d be a popular Top. He was young, but not too young. Ryan was also a good looking guy with what I had presumed was a decent body. I’d soon find out what kind of body he kept hiding behind his clothes. They’d both have fun. The bottom would have their needs met, as long as Ryan understood their need. But would Ryan feelfulfilled?
Folding his shirt. Stepping back, unbuckling his belt; belt is a hard limit. Looking at his boots again. He’d second guessedhimself.
Decent body,indeed.
Ryan might feel as though his needs had been met by fulfilling the role of a Service Top, but that would diminish over time. I was pretty sure of it. He said that he had wanted to be something to someone and meet their needs. That statement could hold short term truth as a Top and as a bottom. But more importantly, and in the long-term context, as a Dominant andsubmissive.
Where do youneedto be, Ryan? I thought about the answer to that question as I rubbed my goatee and watchedhim.
Jeans were off and folded on the table. His eyes darted between the table andfloor.
While he continued to mentally struggle over my directions for him to put everything on the table, I thought about his statement and his answers to my questionnaire, yet again. One question I asked was if he could select one word that he thought his family would use to describe him, what would it be. I often ask a Top or Dominant that I mentor this question because I want to know how theythinkthey are viewed by their family or friends. That group of people usually had seen a person at their best, worst, and everything in between and they usually have a pretty solid idea of their character. Though, I didn’t believe Ryan’s family had much interest in this young man. Ryan’s reply was “selfish.” That word didn’t belong with a good Top or Dominant, nor did it belong to a good bottom or submissive. I didn’t think it described Ryan either. He had been friends with Nick and Sadie for years. Selfish people don’t stick around long because they typically wear out their welcome with people. They have expiration dates among their peers. I didn’t believe that to be true ofRyan.
Modesty was clearly Ryan’s friend. It could purely be nerves about the impact session, or being naked in front of another man. I wouldn’t get too hung up on his lack of confidence today because this was a pretty big deal for him. It’s not often I stumbled onto a young man seeking an impact session to relieve stress. But he most certainly wore stress on hissleeve.
His loose fitted boxer shorts had been the very last to come off and now lay in a heap atop his neatly folded shirt and jeans. The time he spent folding his shirt and jeans perfectly, had stalled him and gave him more time before he cut the final cord by removing his boxer shorts. He no longer “cared” about the state of how neat his clothesappeared.
Ryan stared at the table and then he picked up his boots slowly. He came to the conclusion that everything should be placed on the table. He made an interesting move and laid the boots on their side, on top of hisjeans.
He hadn’t wanted to dirty my table with hisboots.
He made no eye contact, and walked to the foot of the spanking bench where I had asked him to wait. His walk told me nothing which I hadn’t already guessed or thought of. He walked with his hands balled up and rested them against his thighs; concealing hisbody.
His shoulders almost naturally seemed to pull forward. As he stood and waited, his eyes danced around the frame of the spanking bench, but his body stood stockstill.
Ryan had himself a body that many thirty-five year olds would kill for. What he had between his neck and waist, he had kept hidden behind an ill fitted cotton t-shirt. His biceps had bowed lines that led down to corded forearms that attached to his sweaty palms. A well-muscled chest lay behind a light layer of brown hair. Muscles that outlined his abdomen on either side had been separated by a narrow line of hair which trailed down to an unruly splattering of darkhair.
Letting Ryan stand there as long as I had had been enough of a mind fuck for him. He had already been nervous and I didn’t need to let it linger further. I stood at the head of the bench and gave him instructions on mounting the frame. He was feast for the eyes sitting up like hewas.
As I secured him to the bench, I felt his skin, taking note that he felt cool and clammy. Even though we covered the formality of confirming the safe word, I could not proceed in good conscience without going over this with himagain.
“What do you say if you want to stop, Ryan?” Iasked.
“Hairdryer,” he quicklysaid.
I stared at his upper back and said, “Good.” At the simplest comment of letting him know I was pleased, his back muscles stretched and he relaxed. I hadn’t beensurprised.
I started out with a moderate forced “X” pattern on his upper back, and alternated from left to right as I kept my eye on his hands. His hands would be an easy telltale sign as to how things were going. He was doing well and his face appeared to be relaxed. His right cheek rested on the pad of the bench as he gazed off to the side. When I reached twenty lashes, I walked into his line of sight and slapped my hand down on his shoulder blade. I watched his eyes widen ever so slightly and the corner of his mouth quirked upward. He liked it. I rubbed around the skin to disburse some of the heat. I couldn’t help but notice all of the knots in his upper back, and this hadn’t been too long since his massage. But what caught my eye the most had been several small, faded scars that went up and down hisspine.
Verbally check onhim.
“Doing okay,Ryan?”
He began to nod but quickly added a short and quick reply, “Yes.”
“Good,Ryan.”
Again, the corner of his mouth turned upward.Praise calms him.I gave him another ten lashes that had a little more bite to them before I stopped to rub on his skin again. He likes this.Ryan closed his eyes as I rubbed on hisskin.
“You’re doing well,Ryan.”
