“How does it feel Ry-Ry?” Marie askedme.
I didn’t know what she was talking about. She looked at me over the rim of the can of beer she drank from. When I didn’t say anything, she raised her eyebrows at me. I raised mine up to mockher.
“How does whatfeel?”
“To be a little whorenow?”
I jerked my head away from her hand when she reached up and pinched my cheeks. Fucking bitch. I despisedher.
“Go practice on some college girl tramp and see if you can last more than ten minutes,” my momsaid.
I pocketed the money and left. I hated myself for doing what I had done. I paced the sidewalk while I waited for the bus. I felt angry and sick over what I had allowed. Their voices invaded my head as I tried to think about Tiffany. I would have money to take her to dinner tomorrow night, and I’d put the rest in my savings account forschool.
When I got home, I scrubbed at myself in the shower until I was red. That night as I laid down, despite the stomach ache, I was six hundred dollars richer. I hated myself, but I was going to make that right tomorrow. It was Tiffany’s birthday, and I had my heartfelt card all ready togo.
* * *
“Oh my God, Ry,”Tiffany pressed her fingertips against her lips as she looked at my card while we waited to be seated at the coffee shop. “Ryan—Ry did you makethis?”
I glanced around to see if anyone had been watching us before Inodded.
“God, Ry. You’re going to make me cry.” She threw her arms around my shoulders and squeezed me. I put my hands around the small of her back as she kissed my neck and cheek. “Deal with the hug, Ryan,” she whispered and squeezed me again before pullingaway.
During dinner, she kept looking at the card and expressed how much she loved it. She said it made her day. Seeing her happy and knowing that I was the reason for the smile on her face, had made my daytoo.
We made plans to watch a horror flick on T.V. when we got back to her place. But those plans would never happen. When we turned the corner to her hallway, a guy sat on the floor next to her door. I squeezed Tiffany’s hand and expected her to squeeze back. Only she never did. The guy stood and picked up a bouquet of flowers along with a small gift bag as we got closer to thedoor.
“Happy birthday, Tiff,” hesaid.
“What are you doing here, Raymond?” Tiffany sounded irritated that the guy was here. “You broke up with me,remember?”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I don’t know what I had been thinking. School pressure and my folks. I’m sorry, Tiff. Please forgive me. Let’stalk.”
The old boyfriend was here to win her back. Tiffany had been so pissed off at him since last week, I was confident she’d tell him where to go. And if things got ugly and he didn’t want to leave, I had no problem helping him find the way out of her apartment complex. Baseball had forced me to work out daily, and I was bigger than this chump.I—
“Ry, can I take a raincheck on the movie?” she turned and askedme.
I nodded and watched her go inside with the old boyfriend, or the “temporarily old boyfriend at the moment.” Before she closed the door, she smiled at me as my heart card fluttered lazily from her hand. She hadn’t realized that she had hold of my real heart,too.
Chapter Ten
February2004
Iwas tossingmy clothes in my bag when I got a text that nearly stopped my heart. It was from Chad, and it read, “Dad’s dead. Can you comehome?”
Wearily, I sat down on my chair in front of my locker and drowned out all of the sounds around me of post-game chatter. Many of the guys were finishing up and leaving for the day as I struggled tobreathe.
“Ry, hey, Ry.” I looked up at Skyler and Dave. “Dude, youready?”
I shook my head and tried to formulate a sentence to them. When they realized something was wrong and walked toward me, I stood and quickly zipped up my bag. I wasn’t going to talk to them about this. They didn’t even know that I had known who my dad was. They had thought I grew up in a single parent home. I couldn’t talk to them aboutthis.
“Sorry guys. Something just came up, and I need to stop by my mom’s. I’ll be home afterthat.”
“Okay, do you want alift?”
“No, I’m going to take the bus. It’s notfar.”
“Are you sure,Ry?”
