I sighed and set the pillow down on the chair besideme.
“I’m sorry, Cat, but we’re both unhappy and at a point where our differences separate us too much tocontinue.”
“You’re so immature, Ryan! That’s what I get for dating a younger guy. You don’t deserveme!”
I let her scream and yell and then when it seemed like she was done, I said that I would still like to be friends. We repeated this same cycle every time: fights, tears, anger, calling it off, apologies, thensex.
I walked toward the door to let her out, and she threw herself at me and wrapped her arms aroundme.
“Ryan, I’m sorry. I get frustrated, and I don’t mean it. I just know you’re capable of more. I need you,Ryan.”
“But remember, I’m an immature dick who doesn’t deserveyou.”
“No, Ryan. Youdodeserve me.” Catrina kissed my neck and ran her hands down my chest to my pants. “You’re my strong third baseman, and I loveyou.”
Fuck, the “love” word. I knew she was waiting for me to say it, but I couldn’t. I didn’t feel that for her, and I wasn’t going to be pushed into saying that Idid.
“Catrina—”
She plastered her mouth to mine and unbuckled my belt. Once her hands had moved my belt out of the way, she dropped to her knees and tugged my pants and boxers down. Her hands took hold of my dick, and she gazed up at me as she drew me into her mouth. I couldn’t look into her eyes. I hated looking into their eyes when they blew me or fucked me. It just wasn’t natural or comfortable forme.
We ended up fucking on the air mattress in my room. As I laid back, Catrina started to lower herself over my cock. I quickly put my hand over my dick and frowned at her. Was shenuts?
“Condom, Cat,” I remindedher.
Neither of us needed a kid. As I grabbed a condom from the nightstand, my mind flashed to my mom as she yelled through the door at me about how she hadn’t wanted to keep me. She only kept me for my father’suse.
“Come on Ryan, put it on,” Catrina playfully slapped mychest.
I had barely gotten the condom rolled on when she lowered herself down on me. I held my hands up for her to take hold of. Her preferred position was me on my back with her riding my dick. She also liked to hold onto myhands.
“I’m on the pill, Ry. We’d besafe.”
“It’s not worth the risk. Neither of us needs akid.”
Catrina leaned her head back as she rode me and squeezed myhands.
“Yeah, but, we’d have cute kids,baby.”
Baby.I couldn’t listen to this. I felt like I was falling into a bottomless pit. My stomach hurt, and she was oblivious to the fact that she called me “baby.” We’d had numerous conversations about this, but because I never gave her my reason for not liking it, she continued to use it. She said once I could give her a good reason, then she’dstop.
After she came, she climbed off of me. It wasn’t a big deal; I’d come later in the shower. Catrina slid her body between my arm and body. Cuddling. She knew I hated this too. With each passing moment, my stomach ached, and I felt as though I needed to get the condom off of me and to clean up. I started to sit up and heard the familiar groan followed by her frustratedtone.
“Fuck, Ry! Can’t you just lay next to me and hold me for a fucking minute? Why can’t you relax,baby?”
“Catrina, I’ve asked you to stop calling me ‘baby,’ and you know I don’t like layingstill.”
“I do,” she said and stroked my face, but I jerked away. I was at the point where I didn’t want to be touched. That move set the fire breathing dragon in full flight. “What I don’t know isWHY!”
I shook my head and looked at the corner of the fitted sheet that had come up by myfoot.
“Why won’t you tell me, goddamnyou?”
She slapped me in the face, and I decided right then that we weredone.
“I’m just not built that way. The cuddling and talking shit, it’s not in my blood. It’s notme.”
She shoved herself away from me and began pulling on herclothes.
