And now someone was standing in front of me and seeing. He was really seeing me. The truth, the pain, the ugliness of it all.
And honestly, I didn’t know how to feel.
Embarrassed. Elated. Crushed that it was a stranger, and not the family I always hoped would show back up.
On top of all of that, a little piece of me was awestruck that it was him.
A Steel Disciple.
Somebody who was a stranger a week ago.
He saw me.
I don’t know how I ended up in his arms, but he was rocking and shushing me on the side of the ramp while I let it all out in defeated sobs.
I didn’t realize how much I was carrying, until I collapsed.
“It’s over,” he whispered, while running his fingers along my hair line.
Tendrils of hair stuck to my tear-slickened cheeks, making him double his efforts as he tried to smooth it behind my ear.
“What is?” I asked, my voice breaking with my shaky breaths.
With my brain short wired, I was sure he meant whatever we had going on between us.
“Whatever you’re running from. Whatever broke you like this. It’s over.”
That single word stung so badly, I missed the sentiment of his statement.
He was right, I was broken.
“Babe.” He tipped my chin up, pulling me from my thoughts.
His head shifted and a smile lingered, as he studied my face with a question in his eyes, “Why did you check out on me? What did I s–? What are you running from?”
I sucked in a breath like he’d suddenly bared me to the world. I was good at holding things in, but he was more accurate andinvasive than any therapist child services had ever sat me in front of.
‘Invasive’ wasn’t the word for it, even if I felt vulnerable. It wasn’t his fault he could see me.
“How do you know? How do you know I didn’t just want to…” I shook my head, unable to think clearly enough to further a hypothetical or a lie or whatever I was doing.
“Dance? You ran away from a roof over your head, a loving family, and three square meals to dance the dayshift and stress over weekly rent money for a room you’re not proud of?”
I wanted to slap his face, my mouth snapped shut and I wet my lips.
“Babe,” he whispered, palming my cheek again.
He gently brushed the tip of my nose with his and I gritted my teeth to keep another round of tears at bay.
“I was being sarcastic. I know whatever you left is uglier than what you’re taking refuge in. What I don’t know is why you won’t tell me who… Because if this is a person that is keeping you from your home, and loved ones– Give me a name, and I’ll see it etched in granite. I fucking told you, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, or give to you…”
I laughed, rolling my eyes at his antics, “Right, and what, you’ll kill someone for me?”
He shrugged, and said it so nonchalantly, I knew he fucking meant it. “Unless, you want me to teach them what it means to be dead but still breathing. Yeah. I will. Whatever you want, that’s what the fuck I want.” He lifted my hand, and the sapphire and diamonds glinted in the moonlight, as he kissed my knuckles and stared up at me from behind that rock, “I want you happy, and I don’t want to ever see you this fucking scared ofgoing anywhere again. When you go, I go. Even if I’m not there, baby, my name will ride with you. Do you understand that?”
My lower lip quivered, but a smile won over just before I lost the battle to keep my head up. His finger found my chin and steered my gaze back to him. “Whoever it is, whatever it is… it died ten minutes ago, you just haven’t realized it yet, babe.”
The interstate traffic buzzed below us, it wasn’t the constant blur of it that came with the city. The ramp was dark save for a light at the end and one at the top, making it feel like we were in our own little world.
