MICHAEL
I managedmy flight to the family wing without incident. As soon as I shut the door behind me, harder than intended, I tore at my cravat. The still-damp fabric clung, making breathing difficult. Although my efforts resulted in mild strangulation, I managed to escape my fabric prison. The effort didn’t lessen my shortness of breath though. I fought out of my jacket and ripped several buttons of my shirt in my attempt to escape. I stripped down to my unmentionables, while my lungs regained function once more. In spite of all of this, I was still half hard. I had never been more grateful to forego a valet. No one else needed to appreciate my deranged state. I collapsed into the nearby chair, still breathing much too heavy.
I’d ruined her. If anyone found out, if anyone saw us… She was meant to be a duchess. Literally. She trusted me. And at the first opportunity, I took advantage of that trust. I was so naive, thinking I could control myself around her. Instead of leaving well enough alone, I kept pressing closer and closer, spending more and more time with her.
The worst part of all was that if I had it to do over again, I would not be able to make different choices. She was the sun, and I was Icarus. My head knew to stay away, but every other part of me longed for her warmth. I wanted to take everything she had to give and more.
And lord, everything she had to give was glorious. She was passion and inexperienced enthusiasm and shy tenderness, wrapped in an achingly beautiful package. Even in the midst of my self-castigation I could not escape thoughts of her exquisite form, pressed tight against me. I needed to put a stop to such maddening thoughts before my self-control slipped and I sought her out once more.
I launched myself from the chair over to the wash basin, splashing the cool water over myself. A desperate, ineffective, effort to slake my lust. I repeated it once more when it failed to produce the desired effect, driving her from my thoughts. Finally, I was forced to submerge my entire head in the basin. This effort, too, proved ineffective. I was about to pour the water over my head as a last resort the servants would certainly not appreciate, when there was a knock on my door.
“Sir?”
“Come in, Stevens.”
Hugh’s valet had developed an efficiency that sometimes startled. I’d barely finished toweling my hair before he had new clothes laid out for me. He knew better than to assist me in dressing at this point and set about collecting my dampened garments from where I had dropped them on the floor.
“Apologies, I hadn’t intended to leave them there.”
“It’s no matter, sir.” His tone suggested otherwise, dry and judgmental.
“We’ve discussed this,” I said.
“It’s not appropriate outside of the kitchens, sir.” I shot him a look he knew well. “Very well, Michael.”
“Thank you.”
“His Lordship has requested your presence in the study at your earliest convenience.”
I managed to mostly dress myself. He took over my cravat, batting my hands away in irritation, tying a ridiculously complicated knot. I would be lucky not to strangle myself trying to undo it tonight. No loss.
“Very well.”
“What shall I tell His Lordship?”
“Tell him that he can summon me like a misbehaving child when his own bollocks drop.”
That earned me an exasperated look. I couldn’t restrain the eye roll that followed.
“There’s no need to report anything. I’ll go there directly.”
He nodded approvingly and held out my coat for me to slip into. He let out a disgruntled huff when I opened my own door, then hurried to keep up with me down the stairs, through the hall and to the study. I was about to wrench open the double doors when he reached around me to pressed them closed from behind. There was a brief struggle between us before he knocked with a customary, “Sir?”
“Just let him through, Stevens.” Hugh sounded irritated even through the door.
Without warning Stevens released his weight from the doors, and they went flying open from my own yanking. I sent him a disapproving glare as I struggled to restrain my laugh. He had managed to improve my blackened mood, and I was grateful. He offered a brief smile in return before setting off back down the hall.
I turned my attention back to Hugh.
“Close the door.”
Viscount voice then. He rarely used it in my direction after he took over the role. In fact, I thought the only time was to express his disapproval of Wayland’s as a venture. That scene did not end in his favor.
“Have a seat.”
I tried not to let it grate on me, my younger brother offering me a seat in the study that once as served mine. I refused the directed seat and instead leaned against the nearby bookshelf. Just as in the London study, there was a massive portrait of my father behind him, regal and imposing. So I had two Viscounts Grayson staring at me disapprovingly. I snagged a book by my side at random and flipped through it. Desperate for something to distract me from the chafing irritation of whatever scolding Hugh was working toward. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the way he started and stopped several times before finally beginning.
“She’s engaged, Michael.”
