Sam: More than I’d like to admit. Why?
I laugh and shake my head.
Wow. Is Sam into this stuff and I had no idea?
It wouldn’t change anything even if he was. The feeling isn’t there with him. Not the way it is with Jaxon.
Me: I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this sooner, but I’ve been experimenting with different things. I didn’t know how to talk to you about it, and I felt like you would judge me.
Sam: I never would have.
Sam: I’m glad you told me now.
Sam: Is that what Jaxon was? Was it something that went bad?
Sam: You can tell me. I swear I won’t get mad. I want us to be friends.
Calling him would make this conversation easier and quicker, but I’m not in the mood to talk. And I think hearing Sam’s voice would make talking about this weird. It was hard enough saying things out loud with Jaxon… and then again with Amelia. I’m not ready to have this conversation, with my words, with Sam.
Me: Sort of? But probably not in the way you think. We were together for a while. Experimented. And I’d consented to him doing those things to me while here, and he just completely crossed boundaries. I’m so sorry you were involved in this. It wasn’t supposed to be that way. He was wrong.
Sam: That explains why you didn’t want me to call the cops.
Sam: Do you love him or something?
Sailor: I think so.
I do. I know I do, and I have. But saying that to Sam feels weird.
Sam: Has he ever hurt you?
Me: No.
Sam: He’s dangerous, Sailor. I won’t tell you what to do, but that much I know.
Me: I know he is, but not to me. And not to you either. I haven’t talked to him, but I plan to. And when I do, he’s going to apologize.
Sam: I just want you to be safe, Sails.
Me: I promise I am being safe. Jaxon would never hurt me or anyone I care about.
The bubbles dance again for a little while, and then another text comes in.
Sam: So this is what it’s like for us to be friends?
I giggle and respond.
Me: Yep :)
Sam: Well, in that case… can I ask you something else?
Me: Okay?
I have no idea what he could want to ask me this time, so I wait in anticipation for him to send the text through. And when he does, I squeal.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Sailor
