A son should feel rage for seeing their mother in this shape, wanting to kill the person who did it.
I feel nothing.
“Oh, Jaxon!” she cries, pulling on her restraints. “You have to get me out of here.”
I feel my face pinch into confusion.
Is she serious right now?
“These men are horrible! You can save me, you know. We can go back to the organization, and I can—”
“Stop,” I say, too calmly. Too emotionless.
She listens, though.
Her bottom lip quivers, her eyes darting back and forth from mine.
“But we—”
“What is wrong with you?” I ask, my voice raspy. She looks at me like I’ve sprouted another head. “Who the fuck made you like this?”
Now she has the audacity to look offended.
I step up to her and grip her by her chin, turning her head right and left to take in her face until I finally settle on her eyes.
“I hate you, you know that? I always have. You’re the worst mother to have ever existed, and I’d have been better off had you put me up for adoption. How dare you fuck me up the way you did.”
“I didn’t do a—”
I grab the knife from my boot and stab it into the side of her neck. Her eyes go wide, glossing over. When I pull the blade out, blood spurts everywhere, including over me.
Funny.
It’s the only warmth I’ve ever gotten from her.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Sailor
It’s been a whole day since I messaged Shadow back, and he hasn’t responded. I’m getting annoyed because what the fuck?
Something is going on with him, and I want to know what it is. I’m tempted to text Jaxon and ask him what his problem is and demand he tell me what has him so distracted.
I know it makes me sound like a brat, but I’ve gotten used to being the center of his attention… and now I’m not. I want to know why.
I close out of Solar Surge and pull up the text with Jaxon. I get two words typed before the notification pops up that Shadow has answered. I delete what I have and back out of the texts to go back to SS.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: I’ll be there.
I shouldn’t be mad that it’s all I get.
But I am mad that it’s all I get.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but something is. Something changed. I don’t know when or why or how but… something is pushing me full force towards Jaxon. Something is telling me to embrace all of this. Let loose. Just be happy. Give in.
Maybe it’s Amelia and the vodka.
Granted, that was yesterday, but still… Amelia’s voice rings in my head all the time.
