“Do I want to live my life worried that someone will hurt me?” I question.
Amelia reaches out and takes my hand. “I think with someone like Jaxon on your side, watching you and protecting you, you won’t have to worry about it. Now that he knows the risks? I don’t think he would let anyone hurt you. Have you heard from him at all?”
I shake my head. “Not a peep.”
“He’s respecting your boundaries. You told him to leave you alone. He is.”
“Or he didn’t care about me at all.”
“I doubt that. If he didn’t care, why would he save you at all? Why go through the trouble of pissing off…thosetypes of people. It’s like the mafia or something?”
“Something. I think. I’m not really sure. I didn’t ask questions.”
“That’s scary shit. I can agree with you on that. But he’s survived this long. And he saved you.” She sighs. “I wouldn’t hate the idea of a masked man coming to my rescue from the mafia. That’s some dark romance stuff I’d love to experience.”
I crack a smile, and say, “There’s more.”
She gasps. “What more can there be?”
I tell her about my new online friend. About Shadow. How things escalated very quickly—that we’remaybeplanning to do something.
“If you want to play those sorts of games, do it right. Go on a real site. Not a video game!”
“What do you mean?”
“Sailor, come on! There are sites for that stuff. Platforms to answer questions. Meet people. Role play. Video chat. All of it. You can do it safely on sites that take precautions to protect people.”
“Right now, I’m worried about Sam. He’s been acting so weird.”
“Weird how?” she asks, brow furrowed.
I explain how upset he got over the phone call, and the way he isn’t taking the hint about me not wanting to be with him. For the first time during this conversation, she looks concerned.
“Do you really think Jaxon would bother you if you went home?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you… think he knows where you are?”
My heart does a little flip in my chest. Part of me hopes he does. I’ve thought about it, and it’s possible. Another part of me really, truly wants him to leave me alone, because I’m so scared of what all of it means. I’ve dealt with death my whole life. Every person who I have cared about has died, and each one was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. How can I be with someone who can end a life so simply?
Mindy had a family. People who cared about her. I know what it’s like to lose someone… does he?
“Honestly? I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.”
“Maybe it’s a good thing.”
“What do you mean?”
“If he knows where you are and you haven’t seen him and he hasn’t bothered you, doesn’t that prove he won’t hurt you? That he’s only looking out for your best interests?” I consider her words. “I’m not saying that sort of behavior is healthy, however, if that’s what you’re into, then fine—as long as he isn’t forcing it on you and making you uncomfortable. But babe, it seems the only one making you uncomfortable these days is Sam.”
She’s right. She’s so right. This isn’t quite what I wanted to hear, but it’s the truth I need to face. This is why I decided to tell her. I needed another opinion.
“Do you think I should talk to him?”
“I didn’t say that,” she says firmly. “But I do think you need to think about this differently.” She pops up. “Oh, I forgot!” She hurries over to her bag and pulls out a bottle of vodka. The good stuff. Next comes out a bottle of cranberry juice.
“If you pull out a bag of ice next…”
