“I wonder why they upgraded you?”
“Who cares? This is the best vacation ever!” She turns on her side to face me. “The bigger room, the bigger bed. The view. The complimentary snacks! God, I love snacks.”
“Snacks are good,” I agree.
She smiles, and it slowly starts to get bigger.
“What?”
“You have stuff to tell me.”
I groan and fall onto my back. “Amelia…”
“Sailor! Come on. What is the point of being besties if we don’t tell each othereverything? Something is going on, and even though I can see you’re okay, you’re notcompletelyokay. If you were, you’d be home. I mean… where are you even staying? Do you have family here?”
I keep my gaze on the ceiling, and consider not telling her a thing. Now that I’m here, my nerves are getting the better of me.
But why? She’s my friend, and she’ll understand. And maybe having another opinion on this entire thing will help me see more clearly… see what the better option is. It’s clear I can’t figure this out on my own. I’m more confused than ever, and I don’t know what to do. She could help me. I have to let this out.
I sigh and turn on my side to face her. “Okay, I’ll tell you everything.” Her eyes widen, and she grins like the cat who got the canary. “But,” I add firmly. “You cannot judge anything I am about to tell you.”
“Judge you? Bah!”
Laughing, I shake my head and consider where to start. I guess the beginning makes the most sense, but the thought of telling herevery little detailis overwhelming. It’s a good thing we have all weekend… if I decide to stay. She offered, but I wasn’t sure it’s a good idea. Sam didn’t seem very happy about it.
“I guess I’ll start with the easy stuff.”
“Sure, start there,” she says eagerly.
She just wants to hear anything I will tell her, the little gossip queen. Though I know she won’t gossip about any of this. Amelia won’t tell anyone my secrets. I trust her, or I wouldn’t be here.
“I’m waiting,” she complains impatiently when I don’t start talking right away.
I playfully shove her, then start talking.
“I’m staying with Sam. He’s a guy I dated for a couple years, before Jaxon. It was strictly an online relationship until he randomly moved here for school, even though he’d been accepted to Columbia. It all went really fast and kind of freaked me out. He kept pushing to meet, and it wasn’t that I was scared of him, I was just worried that maybe he wasn’t the person I wanted to be with.”
“That’s normal.”
“Yeah…” I clear my throat, then roll onto my back again, unable to look at her. Staring at the white ceiling is much safer. “What do you know about the kink community?”
It feels like forever until she answers, but there is no judgment in her tone when she does.
“Like doms and subs?”
“That’s part of it, yeah.”
“I mean… I don’t know a ton. But I’ve seen stuff. I’ve heard of dating sites and checked them out, out of curiosity. I’ve thought about some stuff, like being tied up and spanked. Is that what you mean?”
“Sure, yeah. It’s an umbrella, though. And there are a lot of branches under it. It’s so much more than just handcuffs and whips.”
“I understand that.” I don’t say anything for a moment, and she adds, “Was he into it and you weren’t?”
I turn my head to look at her. “Other way around.”
Her eyes widen with excitement. “You bad,badgirl.”
A laugh escapes me, and I suddenly feel lighter. Maybe this conversation won’t be so bad after all.
