She sat back in her chair and looked at me curiously as I took another bite.
“What?” I asked.
“This life you lead. I’m just getting the smallest taste of it, between first class and this hotel and this beautiful rooftop restaurant. Have you always liked the finer things?”
I looked at her thoughtfully before looking out at the city lights that seemed close enough to touch. I suddenly felt something I normally didn’t feel with anyone: vulnerability. Being here with Sadie, there was no judgment, aside from her sometimes sarcastic wit. I felt relaxed with her. The guard I usually had up had been slowly chipped away the more time I spent with her. It felt as fresh as the evening breeze that blew gently around us.
“Not always,” I said, still looking off in the distance.
“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to…” she said warily.
I shook my head, turning back to her. I gave her a reassuring smile. “I didn’t always have money like this.”
“Really?” she asked, surprise in her voice.
“Yeah. I didn’t grow up with much.”
“What was your family like?” she asked, leaning her chin on her hand as she rested her elbow on the table. Her eyes were warm, inviting me to speak the words I hardly shared with anyone. I wanted to with her.
“We weren’t very close because we hardly saw each other.” I shrugged. “My dad spent most of his free time at the bar, hedging bets and pissing our money away. He tried to make something of himself in all the wrong ways. But the problem is, money doesn’t make the man. It’showyou earn it. He just didn’t want to put the work in.”
“And your mom?” asked Sadie softly.
“She worked three jobs trying to make ends meet, all while my dad drained her. It was a vicious cycle, but she never left him. She just kept busting her ass to pay the bills and put food on the table. I knew she thought she was being a good mother, but I needed her. You know?”
“Did you have any siblings? A brother? A sister?”
“Nah.”
“You had to go through that all alone…” she said, her voice barely above a whisper as her eyes grew glassy.
“Ahh, don’t do that.” I waved her off. “I had a few good friends.”
“Well, friends are as good as family if you choose wisely.” A hint of a smile tugged at her lip, as if she was trying to muster up a brave face for my lonely childhood.
I chuckled and took another sip of wine.
“If only I had chosen more wisely. My friends dragged me to hell and back before I got some sense in me and left that all behind.”
“What happened?”
“Ah, that’s a story for another time.”
I looked back out at the city, hoping she wouldn’t pry any further. As much as I was enjoying opening up, there were some things about my past I never intended to tell her. What happened all those years ago had changed the trajectory of my life forever.
“You okay?” asked Sadie warily.
I turned back to her, shaking my head from the intrusive thoughts from my past. I wanted to be in the present with her here and now.
“Yeah. I’m sorry. I’m fine.” My voice betrayed me with its lack of confidence and slight slur, thanks to the wine.
She didn’t buy it. She signaled for the waiter and told him to charge the bill to our room before standing from her chair. I let my gaze run over her as she took a step toward me. That dress was made for her. I would give her several more bonus checks if she bought more just like it. One in every color.
“Let’s go back to the room.” She held out her hand and I took it as I stood from my chair. My feet felt unsteady beneath me, making me sway.
“Whoa. You okay?” she asked, placing one hand on my back and the other on my chest. A touch both gentle and firm.
“Remind me not to drink an entire bottle of wine next time.”
